


Moonlight Sonata

by Naomii66



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, High School, Humor, Imprinting, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-08
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-02-24 14:12:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 39,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2584277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naomii66/pseuds/Naomii66
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"There's nothing as tempting as a closed door."<br/>Jasmine Lockwood is Paul Lahote's stepsister, which position is somewhat bipolar - it's fun, since Paul, after all, in the depths of his thorny sould, is a funny guy, and miserable, since she has a chance to catch a glance of something undescripteable, something new and something which is not of this world and what she has yet to come understand...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there!  
> So basically even I was surprised when I found out I've planned a whole storyline for a Twilight fanfiction. I mean, I was never fond of Twilight, in fact I was strongly against it but I've read it again a couple weeks ago and I realized that it's not utterly bad. The Quileutes, the werevoles and the imprinting is simply awesome, I think the characters (the pack) are really detailed, funny, fascinating but most importantly: human-like. I still have some revulsion about Bella, and the Cullens and you know, the main thing but I don't mean to offense anybody, it juSt doesn't work for me.
> 
> Long story short, I have this thing towards werewolves, especially Seth and here I am! I hope you will find it okay but even if you don't, please, write a comment so I'll know what to think over twice! Also, since I'm not a native-speaker and I don't have a beta yet, it may (surely) contain mistakes which I've tried to avoid and read through at least five times but if you find anything, pleas,e just tell me and I will correct the mistake!

There's nothing as tempting as a closed door.

It doesn't necessarily have to be an actual door, all I want to say is humans are curious creatures.

Had your friend ever told you something like 'I've heard something amazing but I can't tell you' and you felt that almost agonizing temptation – no, crave to properly express how much you want to hit him/her with a chair? I mean, why did he/she even tell you in the first place if you're not supposed to know the story itself? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about!

A door is interesting, what could wait for you on the other side and stuff, but a _closed_ door with a 'DO NOT ENTER' sign? Hits the high lights.

Ever since I was a child I felt that thrilling yet viperish longing toward the stories and mysteries my grandmother told me and my siblings.

You see, being a Quileute means you, by all odds, have been told the tales of the spirit warriors. As a child the bravery and devotion of ancient ancestors may be fascinating but as you grow, you learn and understand more and more, eventually the fables become boring. Stupid, even.

At least for most of the people it does. And then there are people like me who've found something credible in them. I could sense the truth hidden in the folksy jibber-jabber but I just couldn't see clearly and figure out the whole, real story.

And it pissed me off.

Nearly as much as the stupid techno-crap my sister, Lily was listening to.

"Turn off that shit!" I yelled as I laid on my bed. The thin plasterboard walls didn't put difficulties in the dubstep-techno-thingy's way. I somehow expected the water in my turtles' aquarium to vibrate like in Jurassic Park.

I was sure Lily could hear me but she didn't move a finger to turn down the shindig. I growled. Typical. Since she was the genius in our family, best grades and best remarks, she could basically get away with murder, especially since our father was the deputy at La Push. Sure, Lily was a nice girl, I mean, we had our problems, sibling rivalry and all but I didn't hate her so I just got up and decided to have a walk.

When I opened my bedroom's door the sound of my stepbrother's bellow-like laughing hit my ear. I rolled my eyes but couldn't hide the joyous grin sneaking upon my lips.

"Haven't TV made you crazy yet?" I asked as I hopped down the final steps on the staircase energetically.

"I'm not crazy, just mentally hilarious."

Paul Lahote might be a jerk but at least a funny one.

He became my stepbrother seven years ago when his father, Jack, married my mother. Paul was ten and I was eight around that time so we had time to get accustomed to each other's presence. Two years prior their marriage Mum divorced from my dad, because they somehow realized that they don't like each other (nice, isn't it?), and so did Paul's parents. Paul moved back to La Push with his father, who was my mother's high school love, so it really was a matter of time before they once again fell in love with each other and decided to marry.

Despite the common belief which says that stepparent are horrible and vicious, I actually loved Jack, who was the complete opposite of his son with his calm, gentle and quiet yet caring personality. He inherited his family's ranch which offered trips on horseback all around the reservation with guidance. It was kind of the heart of La Push's fauna as well since the keeper's lodge was near at hand – it took only a two minutes walk to get there which I often did since my mother's sister, Carrie worked there as a veterinarian.

I glanced at Paul from the corner of my eyes while I was putting on my coat. "You're sitting on my spot."

"You wanna sit down?"

"No, I just declared that you're sitting on my spot."

"We can fight it out," Paul suggested with a huge grin on his face, his fists drew in front of his face in a challenging way. He seemed to be in a good mood which surprised me. I even stopped in the middle of my movements to stare at him.

Paul and his nudist, coking branch of dudes acted really jumpy since weeks.

I mean they were strange on the whole, starting from the fact they seemed to be allergic to any kind of clothing through the knowing looks they exchanged quite often to the way they moved in complete synch as if they were able to read each other's minds. But Paul acted extraordinarily strange – he was huffy all the time, his shoulders were tensed and he jumped out of his room's window in the middle of every single night.

He caught me stalking on him once but the only thing he did was to stop then grin up at me and after a sleazy wave he dove into the portentous bushes. He never gave me an explanation, I guess he didn't feel the need to do so.

„I don't want to hurt you," I said with an unsure smile. Paul laughed, his deep voice echoing in the nearly empty house.

I was about to leave through the open door when he spoke up. "Hey, you're classmates with Seth, right?"

I stopped to glare at him once again and knitted my eyebrows. "Seth? As in Seth Clearwater?" The image of the nauseatingly optimistic and happy and guy-next-door-imaged boy popped up before my mind's eye. "Yeah, he's in the same year as me."

"Don't go near him, would you?"

My frown became deeper and I closed the door. That's for walking.

"Why?" I asked with naked curiosity in my eyes.

"His father died. Maybe he seems calm but he could just as easily explode and believe me, Jassy-Jinx, you don't want to be near when it happens." The slight hint of disapproval in his voice only fueled my interest in Seth which was new all the way around. We've been classmates since first grade but we weren't friends. Our interactions gone no further than merely greeting and occasionally asking if the other had homework. Sure, he was a nice boy, but he had his bunch of friends and I had mine, which was fine by me.

However, right now Seth Clearwater sounded like fun.

Paul _warned me_. Paul actually warned me! He never had tried to act like an officious big brother before, so why now?

"The grandmaster of blaze of anger says what exactly?" Paul's former up beaten mood slowly crept into irritation. That was the Paul we all knew and hate. He crossed his arms in front of his muscled chest and gave me a sharp look.

"I'm saying that you should stay away from him, That's it. And I'm not angry."

"Very well, then what are you?"

He thought hard for a moment before answering, "Passionate."

"The computer you broke the other day in a sudden outbreak of your _passion_ would argue with your phrasing," I grinned mockingly.

Paul narrowed his eyes and I saw his jaw-muscles tightening as he set his teeth. I took it as my cue.

"Never fear, we're not friends anyway." Paul's muscled relaxed at that so I laid hold of his permanent calmness and asked from the doorway, "How do you know Seth's coming to school tomorrow?"

He never answered.

When I arrived at the reservation's school on Monday and sat down on my chair, I pretended to be writing my literature homework when in fact I was hyperaware of everyone coming in the classroom. I was eager to set my eyes on Seth Clearwater, the other times boring boy, who was about to come back after more than two weeks of mourning. At least that's what the teachers told us.

Grace, one of my best friends and practicing bookworm, wasn't distracted by the thick book she was reading and saw what I was doing. "Who are you looking for?" she asked, keeping her gaze steadily on the page.

"Clearwater," I answered in unemotional tone. Grace raised an eyebrow, eyes still fixed on the book.

"Why?"

"Paul put a bug in my ear… He said I should stay away from him." The cutting contrast between 'Clearwater' and 'stay away' was enough for Grace to look up from the book.

"To 'stay away'? Why? In case he's going to contaminate you with sweetness?" Exactly my point! That's why I loved her in the first place; our brains worked the same way.

"I have no idea! I thought he doesn't even know that Clearwater exists…"

"I don't think that they move in the same circles, either. Though I must point at the fact that Paul's fellowship has been under mass reconstruction in the past year or so, thus I don't think we can follow in full who he befriends. I mean, before that 'ding', have it ever occurred to you that he might someday be buddies with Sam Uley?"

I couldn't help but growl at the mention of his name. Sam Uley and Jared Cameron, Paul's new 'BFFs' pissed me off.

Roughly a year and a half ago Paul had a turnaround – he became extremely sick. His skin was on fire, his body was shaking sometimes, and then all of a sudden, he went missing. I've asked Jack if he knows where he might be, if he had called the police, but he just smiled and patted my head, saying 'everything's going to be okay'. He didn't look worried at all but more like if he had known exactly what was going on.

Eventually Paul came home but he was different and not just because he cut his hair short for some reason and started the monokini-style of Uley. No, Paul had that a strange, wild, indescribable aura and sure-as-hell unhealthy heat radiating from his body. I only realized how much he has grown when he stood next to his old friends, Steven and Kai, who both looked like goblins next to a pigment-defected elf from Lothlorien.

Quite unexpectedly, Paul decided to join Uley's branch and leave his former friends. Steve and Kai tried to hang out with him, hell, they even tried to talk with him through me but he just left them. I don't know why I hate Uley and Cameron that much, I mean, it was Paul's choice and his friends, not mine, but still, they were troublemakers in the eyes of most of the reservation's population. They were jumping down of cliffs! For fucking fun! Not to mention all the truancy and sneaking out of the house at night. Still, of course a lot of the girls at our school found them 'dangerously sexy' and 'delightfully charming'.

I eased off on Uley after he started to date Emily Young (poor girl was attacked and disfigured by a bear) but I still had a spite against Cameron. He just seemed like an asshole.

"True enough," I muttered lastly and crossed out half the things I wrote. It was jibber-jabber, interspersed with random words from our conversation. I froze when I thought things over again – just like Paul, Seth's been growing a lot lately… _Nah. It's just adolescence._

My ass!

When I heard steps coming closer on the corridor I looked up and back down automatically before realizing what I saw and immediately perked up my head. Seth Clearwater stood in the doorway. Since he was talking to someone the door hidden (probably accepting words of sympathy) he didn't see how bluntly I was staring at him.

There was no way he could grow that much! He was around six foot tall, which meant he had grown at least eight inches and he looked like he's been locked up in a gym. Still, the most upfront thing was (beside his now short hair) the radiating heat and something unlike anything else.

_Uley._

Had I been a dog, I'd have been honest-to-god growling.

"Seriously?! Clearwater's become Uley's lapdog?"

"At least he still knows what a t-shirt is,' Grace mumbled. I wasn't able to come up with a proper comeback so I just continued to smolder. Suddenly I lost all of my interest in Clearwater, even the little I had toward him before Paul's warning. Sam Uley's friends are no friends of mine. Except for Paul, because, you know, one has no choice when it comes to family.

I saw on the edge of my sight as Seth came in the classroom and approached his spot, two benches beside us.

"'Stay away, huh?" I muttered to myself when he passed by us. I thought I was quiet enough but since he winced in surprise and (I only guess because I kept my gaze fixed on my notebook) looked at me I might have been louder than planned. I felt his gaze on my back as I tried to write again. It was extremely uncomfortable.

The bell rang and simultaneously Tucker Ayers, my other best friend arrived.

"It's not half past nine yet? You're early," Grace told him mockingly, smiling above her book. Tuck grimaced impatiently.

"Good morning, ladies! It's such a beautiful day, don't you think? Perfect for walking, playing football or water piping," ha sang out as he took his seat next to Grace. I must nail down that Tuck wasn't on drugs, he was smoking tobacco not cannabis or anything but he was kind of addicted to it. And when I say addicted, I mean that he sometimes didn't spend his lunch money on actual food but tobacco. We've tried to get him out of this habit but we've only succeeded so he was smoking tobacco with less nicotine and more flavoring.

But right now I could care less about his problems.

"Is Clearwater looking at me?" I asked from him whose annoyed expression I could only imagine since I dared not to look up.

"Once more: _good morning_! How do you, my pretty lady Jasmine?"

"TUCK!"

"Fine, fine!" he said, raising his palms in defeat. "I don't even know why we're friends in the first place," he muttered but I pretended like haven't heard it. Tuck turned around and waved to someone, probably to Seth before turning back. "He's not looking."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He looks up occasionally but he's not looking. Why would he?"

"She's getting paranoid," Grace explained and turned a page. I gave her a glare.

Since I didn't thrust Tuck's skills to read the situation I decided to have a look myself. True, Seth wasn't constantly looking at me, well, at least, not until he felt my glare on him, looked up and made eye contact with me. His face became expressionless, his jaw dropped slightly and he fixed his stare at me so tightly I swear I felt it, as an actual, real bondage which held me in place.

Odd. That was the only word coming to my mind at the moment.

One of his friends, Joey, who was talking to him before our eyes met, now waved his hand in front of Seth's face. It broke the astonishing eye-contact. Seth looked like he was just waken up from a deep, dreamy dream and became aware of his surroundings at the very moment. He smiled at Joey apologetically but as soon as he started to talk again, Seth fixed his eyes on me, his thick and dark eyebrows knitted in confusion. While he nodded and said 'yeah' every now and then, he wasn't listening to Joey, I could tell that.

The way he looked me straight in the eye was creepy. His dark chocolate irises sent shivers down my spine – I couldn't really decide if they were utterly creepy or a bit pleasurable. It drags toward creepy, I guess. I don't know why but what I could read from his eyes was puzzlement, slight fear, and… Fondness?

No. It was just creepy.

Tuck, who was also staring at Seth (but didn't even received a single glare from him) leaned closer to me and whispered, " _Now_ he's looking."

Tuck, you're a genius.

I must state that while it was flattering, Seth's constant and hard staring during classes made me highly uncomfortable and it sure as hell distracted me as well. His dark gaze burnt a hole in my back. I had no idea what had gotten into him because as I said before we weren't friends, more like distant acquaintances. I didn't even go to his father's funeral, because, you know, graveyards are scary and depressing.

 _What are you doing, Seth Clearwater_?, I thought, as I tried to ate my sandwich in lunchtime. He was sitting in the other end of the canteen but he, of course, sat so he still saw me through the crowd of the students eager to eat something before returning to the dry lands of math, natural sciences and stuff.

More interestingly, he sat at the same table as the rest of the Uley-gang still attending high school. Basically everyone was there, since only Uley was at the age of twenty: Jacob Black, Quil Ateara, Embry Call, Jared and Paul. Paul. What the hell?! So basically I'm supposed to stay away from Clearwater but they're friends? I didn't understand but I wanted to. In fact, it bothered me so much I felt my brain getting itchy with frustration which grew even bigger when I realized that I have to wait long hours before I had the chance to talk to Paul and figuratively scrape the irritating itch in my head.

"Is there something we're missing?" Tuck's voice came from so close I jumped in my seat then turned to him with narrowed eyes. I hated when he did that and he knew and enjoyed it!

"Some manner, maybe."

He laughed humorlessly. "I mean in relation to Clearwater."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that he's been eyefucking you since the morning and _I'm_ the one getting embarrassed."

I sighed in irritation and thought about how should I hurt him for his impoliteness but Grace prevented that action – she smashed him on the back of his skull with her book herself. Tuck cried out loudly, making the whole canteen look at us for a second before realizing it's just 'Ayers pulling crap' and getting back to their food.

"He's not… 'eyefucking' me. I'd say he's just staring, but I have absolutely no idea why." I sneaked a French fry off Grace's plate and drew back my hands just in time before she'd have had the chance to poke me with her fork and started to chew on it while I looked up at the ceiling pensively. "Maybe he hit his head. I mean, he's sitting with my brother. That's something a normal human being would never do. Speaking of my brother… Where's Kayla?"

Kayla Littlesea was our friend as well – you know that Queen Bee in crappy American High School comedies? Well, she was kind of the Queen Bee of our school, the others listened to her and tried to gratify her, though she was less bitchy and more… Normal. Except for the fact that she _adored_ Paul. Sometimes I had to think about the possibility that she may only come over so often to catch a glance of him.

"Jasmine. It's Monday, we have math, P.E., and we had to hand in our essay for Mr. Coldfield on embryology. Are you seriously asking if Kayla Littlesea, the Champion of Excuses and Malingering, whose mother is incidentally a doctor and as such able to give medical certificates, was about to come to school but something distracted her?" Grace's voice was dripping with sarcasm. I had to spat in agreement while she snarled in annoyance. Originally I had been friends with Kayla since we were two thanks to his grandfather who worked for the keeper's prior to Paul's father where my aunt worked as a doctor. Grace was always a loner but Tucker lived next to her so she kind of had no chance against his friendship and when we've first attended school, we've became friends and get on very well ever since. Well, most of the time – Grace was okay with Kayla, though they were completely different, but there was one thing she couldn't endure: the fact that Kayla get away with everything and anything.

"If my mother would be a doctor, I would ask her to give me certificates as well," Tuck said into the silence settling down on us, trying to disperse Gracie's annoyance.

"Technically, your mother is a doctor…" I remarked somewhat absent-mindedly.

Tuck gave me a meaningful, offish glare and folded his arms in front of his chest. "She's a gynecologist."

Point taken.

I shoot out my tongue at him which was rewarded by a French fry hitting my forehead then coming to halt in my hair. My jaw dropped in jolly awe, the sides of my lips still curling up, and I fought back with two fries – much to Gracie's displease.

"Would you two please try to pretend to be more than four and try not to-…" She was cut off by a bun hitting her face. She let the bun fall to the floor, her expression hardening before she let the temptation take over. "That's enough!"

Grace picked up all of her fries and threw them at us with a devilish grin. Tuck and I ducked under the table but attacked as soon as the fry-bullets stopped. Grace was fighting on two fronts which proved to be insuperable even for Hitler. Soon enough we were stopped in front of our food-battle by a supervising teacher who told us we will clean up the whole canteen after the other's are finished but it was still fun.

After the bell rang, all of the students headed off to their class. When Paul passed by me he gave me a ruffle and stole one of the fries survived the battle off the table. Seth was the last of the Uley-pack to leave the canteen; he seemed to take his time with packing wittingly. When he looked back at me from the doorway I waved to him – fuck, that grin what appeared on his lips! That little wave I gave to him somehow lightened up his already happy mood.

After school Paul waited for me at the parking lot. He drove an old but renewed Ford Mustang; the car's mauve red color stood out in the middle of all the black, white and dark blue cars the other had.

"Can I ask you something?" I wondered when we reached a traffic light which just turned to red.

"You already did." How I hated his wrecked humor sometimes! He might have seen the huffiness in my eyes and gave in with a smug grin on his face. "Sure, whatever, Jinx."

"Since when are you buddies with Seth Clearwater?"

"I guess it's none of your business. Seth is... Fine."

"But you said I should stay away from him," I pointed out somewhat uncomprehendingly.

"I did. And you still should."

"But you…"

"I do a lot of things," Paul cut me off with a raised tone, "which you shouldn't."

"Yeah, I know," I sighed. "For example, you just drove through a road junction strictly without stopping…"

He looked at me sharply. He hated when other told him how to drive, it was a weak point of him. I wanted to continue but seeing as he was practically clenching the steering wheel so hard his fingers whitened and it gave out strange, cracking noises I shut up and looked out of the window. It was raining again, the raindrops rolled down the window competing each other.

Eventually I couldn't bear to hold back the subject I was eager to discuss with Paul. Well, I wasn't eager because it was a strange case but I had to. "Seth was very strange today…"

Paul looked at me from the corner of his eyes then drove his gaze back to the road. "And?"

"Well, I mean, he didn't start to perform ancient tribal rain dances but he looked at me all the time…" I was about to continue when Paul stepped on the brakes so hard the car stopped with jarring noises and my torso fell forward till the point the safety belt allowed. Luckily for us we were already on the access road leading home with no car in seeing distance.

Paul turned nearly completely towards me, not even slightly distracted by the sudden stop. "What do you mean by 'looking'?"

I frowned angrily. "I dunno, he was just… Looking at me. Like, in a creepy way. Almost as if he had been afraid I might disappear or get hurt if he doesn't continue to stare… Like…"

"Like you was the one thing keeping him on Earth?" Paul asked facilely; I had the feeling that he already knew what I was talking about.

"Have you eaten a page of my literature book? Yeah, I guess. Though what I saw is not exactly…"

But Paul was nowhere next to me anymore. He jumped out of the drivers seat in such a pace I didn't even realized he got out until I saw him running towards the trees on the right side of the road; I swear I saw his body trembling and shaking.

I got out of the car and tried to run after him but when I successfully unclasped the belt, he already reached the outermost of the trees. "Paul!" I cried after him.

"Go home!" That was all he said, then nothing, no noise, no sight of him, just me in the middle of the road next to the car with the engine still running and the sound of the rain pattering on the leaves.

Sometimes he pissed me off, too.


	2. Caramel Boy

"He just left you there?" Grace's voice, though still calm, sounded worried. I was sitting in my bed, safe and warm in my blanket-cocoon.

"Yeah! And d-…" I wanted to continue but I had to sneeze. I'd really love to be a girl with those sneeze that sounds like a tiny little fairy laughing sardonically but no, I sounded like an asthmatic, dying walrus with my "ACHOOO!". Sometimes when I had to sneeze really hard the walls trembled, at least that's what Rose, my other little sister used to tell me along with lines like my "moribund aura ruins her chi and affects her art as well".

You see, Rose was an artist – not a genius like Lily, but she had paintings so realistic as a photograph but she also did some of those ugly, abstract ones like Picasso. She was fond of painting, she monopolized the attic as her own little workshop never minding that it was rightfully mine as originally Jack offered it for me. He said that I will be a grown woman very soon and that I need my own place to retreat to. Nevertheless, Rose decided it will be hers and mum never said a bad word because all of her friends praised her works. The Old Quil wanted to buy some of them but mum (overjoyed with pleasure to see her child's work at one of the tribal council member's house) gave him five of them for free. Since then occasionally a neighbor or a friend or simple acquaintances showed up and asked if they could buy "an original Rose Lockwood" painting. Among the adults what the tribal council members thought worthy was worthy – almost like when Beyoncé wears a certain type of clothes and every teenaged girl wants the same.

I always admired the fact that though Rose and Lily were identical twins they were the complete opposite of each other, not to mention me, the average computer-maniac girl.

I was sure as hell I had inferiority complex.

Back to our conversation…

"You got a cold, huh? So you're not coming to school today?"

"Nope," I said, pronouncing the 'p' with a popping sound. Grace sighed, the phone making her voice even deeper than it already was compared to other girls.

"So I must get away with Tuck alone?" I heard a resentful 'hey!' from the background, signaling that Tuck was already there though it was barely nine. That meant that her father once again tried to be responsible and dad-like which consisted of him telling Tuck he has a lot more absenteeism than acceptable and he dropped off him at the school around eight. I didn't envied Grace because Tuck was always staying up very late, usually till dawn and if he doesn't get his dose of beauty-sleep, he was hysterical as Moaning Myrtle.

"Sorry."

"You're the only one who can get a cold here from walking in the rain for merely five minutes."

Unfortunately, she was right – since we've been living in La Push for all of our lives, we were supposed to be accommodated to the weather. Most of us were, but I, somehow, was as catchy of cold as the Brazilian exchange student who has visited his distant relatives in the winter.

After she hang up, I forced my body to obey my stomach telling me I need food and slowly crept down the stairs. If I've been in a cartoon, I guess I'd have been slimming down like a liquid gummy-stuff. What I didn't expect in the kitchen was Paul, sitting on top of the counter, eating our little brother, Tyler's apple puree with a satisfied expression. He saw me before I saw him though I've tried to be quiet because Tyler was sleeping and I didn't want to add baby cry to the list of the reasons why my head hurts.

"What are you doing here?" We asked in the same time, though my voice was nasal unlike his. I sucked back some mucus I guess was trying to escape my nostrils (yeah, even I am disgusted of myself sometimes) and muffled myself tighter with my blankets. Paul grinned and pointed at me with his apple-pureed spoon.

"I didn't see you if you didn't see me."

"I have permission do stay here ad nod do go do school so I guess we bod know who occupies de moral high g'ound," I said slightly incomprehensibly because of the cold. Since Paul was a self-centered type, he gave me a strange look but didn't ask if I am sick. I wasn't expecting him to.

"Fine, you caught me," he said, rolling his eyes. He took another spoon of the puree in his mouth and left the spoon there, catching it between his teeth. "What do you want for your silence?"

I went to blow my nose before stepping in front of the fridge to see what we have. "You could tell me wad dat _ding_ was yesderday."

I felt more than actually seen or heard him tensing for a sec before answering. "What _thing_?" Pretending to be stupid? Not so clever.

I groaned in intolerance and decided to just have nutella by itself. "The _ding_ wid you jumping oud of de car ad leavin' me in the middle of the road widoud a word. Id was lovely by de way, the weader was so nice I wan'ed do have a walk anyway."

Paul shrugged and grinned probably because he found my voice funny. I didn't blame him for that since I found it funny, too. "You could have driven home."

I wanted to argue but I froze as soon as I opened my mouth. I frowned in confusion (Paul saying _clever_ things?!) and started to stammer. "Well, yes, I… I guess I could have, bud… Dat's nod de poind! Seriously, whad's wrong wid you ladely? You've been acding really jumpy for weeks den you say I should nod go close do the mosd adorable boy ever walking on dis Earth because he's dangerous ad you jump oud of de car… Have Uley's steroids made you mad?"

I thought that by accusing him and his lord and master with using of drugs would make him angry as it always did earlier but no, he remained calm. It seemed as like his hormones have calmed down; maybe he found a girl and lets his testosterone flew out of him in other ways. The mere thought of it made my stomach turn so I tried to shoo it away.

Paul grimaced like a five-years-old when he sees a couple kissing. "You think Seth's _adorable_?"

I blinked at him in disbelief then shook my head, grabbed the jar of nutella and doddered upstairs. "You really are mad," I diagnosed quietly.

He has never asked if I like a boy, ever, in the past years we spent together. Okay, maybe because I wasn't that 'have a date every day' kind of girl, in fact, I was asexual to most of the guys like, I dunno, car keys. No, that's not the right metaphor, since the other day Paul was watching Discovery Channel and a guy went on an on about how lovely some sport's car key is. So no, I wasn't like car keys, but nonsexual like a… A lamp. Yeah, I was a lamp.

I spent the rest of the day in my room eating nutella and playing online games on my laptop. I had that arch-enemy thingy against TheTerminatorJack who was a lvl 94 swordsman but he had no chance against me a.k.a. FlameQueen92, the lv. 97 fire shaman. Our guilds were hostiles, and he had the biggest mouth always abusing those of lower level and I was our guild's (simply The Tribe) general so I treated this as a personal matter. I was about to kill him for the fourth time in the Dark Elven Woods, when I heard loud knocking on the front door.

"Jass, sweetheart, your friend is here!" I heard mom's voice from downstairs. _Kayla!_ My eyes brightened up. She promised to come over and play Halo together. Yes, well, no one knew but she was addicted to Halo – I got her into to it but she made me promise that I won't tell anyone since it would ruin her public image.

"Send her up!" I shouted so she will hear it. I heard footsteps coming closer on the staircase.

I had some unfinished business before greeting Kayla.

"Get'cha!" I yelled triumphantly when the virtual swordsman dropped dead after a combined Dragon Fire attack. I boxed into the air and hallooed. TheTerminatorJack was typing curses into the common chat, most of those were automatically blot out with stars by the game but I cared less. As a reward I ate another spoon of nutella and sadly took note of the fact that the bottle was empty.

I got up with the blanket sitting on my head and shoulders. It levitated after me as I crossed the room like a fucked up superhero cape. When I reached the door and came face to face with the mirror fixed on it, I descried that my eyes were bloodshot with the sickness and not sleeping (though most of my nasal voice flew away with the pill Mum gave me), my hair was a mess held in place by a loose hair rubber and I had little spots of nutella on the side of my mouth. Whatever, at least I had some stored for harder times. Kayla said that I look horrible when I tried really hard anyways so I usually just gave up without trying.

"Hey, Kay!" I said with a bright smile as I opened the door in one swift motion. The smile soon faded off as I took time to actually look at my guest. Seth was standing on the hallway, looking slightly confused at the way I looked like but at the same time utterly happy, I dunno, probably to see me. I blinked at him rapidly with a baffled frown. "You're not Kayla."

What a statement! What a dull, simple-minded logic! Guess what, I'm a genius, too!

Seth laughed, awkwardly. "No, I'm afraid not. I'm Seth…"

"I know who you are," I cut him off rather strongly. "We've been classmates since first grade and you sit in front of me in chemistry and biology. I just don't understand what you're doing here, I mean… Are you looking for Paul? He went off somewhere."

"No, I know he's not here, actually I've met him and he gave me directions to your house," he explained in an unfocused way. Pale pink color appeared on his cheeks as he spoke, almost like he was embarrassed by my presence. Even if it was the case, he didn't look away, oh, no, he was staring at me just like he did yesterday and it freaked me out the same way.

I raised an eyebrow at that. "Why?" Seth shifted uncomfortably.

"Why what?"

"Why did he give directions to you? I mean, I know _that_ 'why', I'm curious about the 'why' referring to you deciding to come visit me." My poorly assembled commentary confused him judging by the fact that he knitted together his eyebrows once more, seemingly having no idea what was going on. I must say that he looked _adorable_ , like a puppy getting introductions he doesn't know yet. "Why are you here, Seth?"

I thought that a simpler question would make it easier for him to answer but his dark chocolate eyes only grew wider with shock as if he hasn't been waiting for this kind of question. "Why… am I… here…?"

"Exactly."

"Well, you haven't been to school today and I was afraid you might be hurt or something but then your friends said that you're simply sick and I decided to come and visit you..."

Stop. Seth Clearwater was saying that he was worried about me and he came to see if I'm okay? Even Grace and Tuck didn't do that! It made me feel smug and fearsome at the same time. The smugness came first with me bolting upright in pride that an actual guy (a rather hot guy, may I add) came to visit me at my house. Then I've realized that his sudden interest was fishy and that I should be careful. Guys have never taken interest in me without ulterior motive. Whether it was trying to get closer to Paul, who was one of the most popular guys in the school or trying to get me to write their physics homework it's all the same – it wasn't for _me_ but for something I can _give_.

Seth was still going on and on; his talkativeness, I thought, was an effect of him being embarrassed for some reason, but I've made up my mind. He wasn't going to mislead me with his friendly attitude and the innocent Caramel-Boy look. Uh-uh! No way.

"…but finally I've found your house. It's really nice, by the way; your mom is a great decorator! And, of course, you don't look as bad as I thought you would judge by what Paul said. I'm really happy to see that you're getting better!"

And he smiled whole-heartedly.

And it was the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life including baby cows licking each other.

And also, that was the point where I realized that maybe Caramel-Boy will blew away my unshakeable-mask if I let my guard down. After all, I'm sure there was a reason if Paul has warned me, even if it was stupid.

I wiped off the small stain of drool escaping my mouth during the time I was staring at him day-dreamingly, and cleared my throat. "Well then, uh, I guess I, uhm… Thanks? Yeah, thank you for coming and everything, but you do realize that we're not friends, right?"

His wide smile turned around in a second and with his eyebrows pinched and raised, warm chocolate brown eyes wide, head tilted to the side and his full bottom lip stuck out a bit he reminded me of a sad puppy, again. Maybe the perfect nickname for him would be Puppy, not Caramel-Boy.

"I know we're not very close but I just thought that we might become friends some day and for that I have to take the first step."

His voice, balancing on the edge of deep and average, sounded so sorrowful that with his eyes literally radiating sadness I felt like a horrible person for ruining the poor boy's mood.

He put his hand in his pocket and gave me a resigned smile. "I'm sorry for bothering you," he grieved quietly, and started to walk away. The way his shoulder hunched, he pouted his lip and stepped forward really slowly in hesitation made me feel a tug at my heart-strings.

"No, Seth, wait!" I called out after him when he was about to step on the staircase. He perked up his head immediately, his eyes full of hope and faith. I rolled my eyes mentally; it was so unfair from Mother Nature to create a guy who could get away with robbery by looking extremely lovable and pure.

"Yes?" he asked expectantly and walked back to stand before me with long-drawn and hectic, but still kind of uncertain steps.

I sighed and bowed my head not bearing to look in his eyes for more than two seconds. "Look, I'm sorry; I did not mean to hurt your feelings. I really appreciate that you've come to visit me, it's very nice of you, and I'm just surprised that after so many years _now_ you've decided to befriend me."

Seth, for the first time since yesterday, looked away as well and stared at the carpet before driving back his gaze at me. He seemed to be thinking about what he should say next. "Yeah. You know, sometimes people change things around themselves, other times the surrounding and happenings change the people. I had a lot of changing in and around me lately…"

His father's picture popped up before my mind's eye and the article in the daily newspaper saying something about a heart attack. His father died half a month ago, and though I've never experienced something like that before, fortunately, I've heard that a death of a close family member could change other's behavior. Though Seth still seemed to be his old, cheery self, maybe he felt the need to spend time with those around himself he has never really thought of before. It was logical, right? Well, for me it was. I wasn't a hugging-type, but I felt the urge to cuddle him. Like a puppy.

But of course I did not do that.

"Again, I'm sorry. Of course we can be friends." His face literally brightened up, and he smiled so wildly his nose wrinkled. As much as I found it heartwarming that I could made him smile which was a huge kick to my 'daily good works' measurer, Kayla was on her way and I looked like a handicapped, not really ready for the real beginning of a new friendship, so I had to send him away. "I don't want to sound rude but… Is that everything? You're good, I mean, it's nice to talk to you but my friend is coming over and I don't want you to feel awkward in the crossfire of her unabashed questions…"

For a second he just smiled and stared at me the way Kayla stared at Paul sometimes then winced and shook his head. "Oh, yeah, sure, that was it! I have to go anyway, so… See you at school tomorrow?"

I shook my head, signaling 'no'. "On Thursday," I corrected him. Mum said I should stay home a couple of days and though I felt that I will be completely fine by tomorrow there was no way I'd have gone to school if I don't have to.

"Than Thursday it is," he smiled, and waved goodbye. "Get well!"

"I will," I muttered dazedly, not even sure that he has heard it but he turned around and smiled back at me so I guess he had supernatural hearing. After he left, I just stayed where I was, standing in the doorway agape, staring at the point I saw him lost. The only thing going on my mind was something like _what the hell?!_

"Somebody has a boyfriend~", Lily sang out. I didn't realized she was there eavesdropping but now that I did, I glared at her angrily. Not because I felt embarrassed but because I hated when she horned in things she was not concerned in.

"No, nobody does."

Her hazel eyes lit up with the joy of new-coming knowledge. "You're denying it so it's true!"

"No, I'm denying it because it's not true," I grumbled sardonically but Lily, of course, was too far away in her own fantasy to hear what reality says.

"You're sooooo dating Seth Clearwater!" she rejoiced so loudly I could here her though she was in her room and I was on the hallway. I huffed then heard the cracking sounds of the stairs, meaning that somebody was coming upstairs.

"What the hell did I just hear?" Kayla's wickedly grinning face popped up, her appearance impeccable as usual – she had her reddish brown hair in a tight pony tail, her bangs curling perfectly on the sides of her flawless face. She looked as if she had emerged from a cover of Cosmopolitan though she only wore make-up so her unique, almond-shaped light brown eyes shone. I envied her for her eyes; though mine was different from usual as well with its hazelnut color but it only looked ugly, not pleasantly unique.

"Everybody's sneaking around these days?" I asked as I shook my head but smiled at her.

She wasn't distracted by my comment. "Clearwater, really? I met him at the front door but I thought he was visiting Paul… By the way, where is he?" She looked around twirling her head like Meerkats on guard.

I sighed again. We were at the topic.

"He's not here, Kay. He went off somewhere with Cameron and Uley."

Kaley sighed theatrically. "Shame, I wanted to ask him to have a look at my car…"

"We both know that when it comes to cars he's useless as a water gun against a forest fire," I laughed. True, Paul loves cars but that was it – he had no idea how to repair them. In excuse of him, aside from cars there was nothing he couldn't repair around the house. He worked at the tourist resort and the keeper's lodge a lot, actually.

"True. Let's not talk about him for a second!" I pretended to fell to the ground, the thick layers of blankets blunting the impact. The ground must be shaking if Kayla says she doesn't want to talk about Paul! She put her hands on her hips and smiled humorlessly. "You're not funny, you know. But! I will forget your lack of manners on one condition: you must tell me every detail about your relationship with Clearwater."

We toddled inside my room, and while Kayla put herself at home by sitting in my favorite bean bag chair I shut the door close and snug on my bed.

"I don't have a relationship with Clearwater," I stated firmly. "He just, I don't know, wants to be friends with me."

Kayla rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "Yeah, right. 'Friends'. That's why he's been looking at you all the time yesterday."

I froze and stared at her with wide eyes, my mouth hanging open for a second. How the hell does she know that?! "But how-…"

"I have my resources," she answered my un-asked question with a knowing smile. It was one of those moments when I realized that being her friend is much more profitable and less dangerous than being her enemy. There was a girl two years ago who decided that she will make Kayla's life miserable with intrigues – long story short, now she's somewhere in Alaska. Kayla clasped her palms together and straightened herself. "From what I heard and the look I saw on his face after your little conversation up here makes me hundred percent sure that he likes you. The question is: do you like him?"

"You're not trying to set me up, are you?"

"Hell yes, I am!" she said in a 'I can't believe you' voice then grabbed my shoulders looked into my eyes. "Jass, you've never dated a guy before. Am I right? Am I? Am I? AM I?" She leaned closer with every 'am I' until our noses touched, reminding me of Dory from Finding Nemo.

"Kay… My personal space…" I shrieked with irritation and a slight hint of pain as she was digging her manicured nails into my shoulders.

"I don't give a shit about your personal space!" she yelled, reminding me of Captain Stewart, the captain of the La Push Police Department and the coach of the school's basketball team. He had a talent of enraging himself with every word he said, making him a strange case of chain reaction.

If there was one people in the whole world who could scare me, well, it was Kayla. She was the sweetest girl in the world until the monster came out of her.

I was relieved when just like the way she enraged herself she calmed down as well and collapsed into the embrace of bean bag. "Jasmine Lockwood, you're miserable. Not that you haven't dated but even if you have the chance, you let it slide away!"

"It's not like I'm thirty years old, Kay," I rolled my eyes at her dramatic attitude. "We're only fifteen, for god's sake! And it's not the biblical times anymore when you had to marry when you were twelve or some shit. It's the 21st century…"

Though she was massaging her temple with both hands, she looked up and leaned forward with such an élan she nearly fell off the chair. "Exactly what I'm saying! We live in the 21st century, when being fifteen means you've reached the age of sex. Not dating, sex. Got what I'm saying?"

Well, the 21st century thing was kind of an own goal.

"Just because the government decided we should have sex education in 7th grade that doesn't necessarily mean that we have to have sex, too. It's just an option, a foolish one, may I add, which I've chosen not to choose."

"Don't go all _o tempora o mores_ on me!" I shook my head and reached for the bar of chocolate I had under my bed. It was held there in case of panic and emergency but this was an emergency and I started to panic at the way Kayla was implying I should have sex with someone.

"I shouldn't have had bought you 'a Latin saying everyday' calendar," I concluded light-headedly.

She narrowed her eyes. "No, you really shouldn't have had. I'd have been happier with the cute panda-earrings I've wanted for my birthday."

"I couldn't know for sure you wanted them as your present…" I tried to argue but she interfered with heavily shaking her head.

"I pointed at them and said 'oh, look, they're so sweet, I want them for my birthday'!"

I opened my mouth to protest but I had to acknowledge that it was the clearest hint I could've ever asked for. I felt like a trapped animal except that the cage was my own bedroom which was supposed to be the place for serenity and peace. I started to feel a bit anxious. "Okay, I wasn't listening to you!" I snapped. "So what? Our friendship is over?"

She looked at me in an annoyed and offended way. "Of course not. I was just saying that if you'd spend more time with actually listening to your environment and not spending your time with stupid things like this tribal-folk-thing about spirit warriors…"

"It's not stupid!" I seethed. Kayla looked at the wall where my desk stood at with a scornful look – it was covered with photo copies, printed tales and articles from magazines and books alike. Everything I've ever laid my hands on and had connection to the stories of our tribe I stocked to the wall which I called Closed Door.

Yeah, I don't have a lot of fantasy.

"Jass, you have to start living!" she stated and came closer with every step. I stood up as well and we met around halfway.

"I am living, thank you fucking much! I am satisfied with my life and I don't need you to tell me how to live it!" Technically I wasn't shouting (I never did in anger, to be honest), but I felt like doing so and with ever word I felt more and more regretful. Kayla was my best friend, and these arguments between us were completely normal – we quarreled at lest once every day but made up later. Later now decided to come earlier as suddenly my door flew open.

"Goddamn, so I heard your angel-like voice, sis?" Paul asked with a wicked grin. As soon as Kayla looked at him (and his shirtless torso) her features melted into a dreamy smile and her shoulders bowed.

"Hey there, Paul!" she said; I sighed as I felt my up-building anger slipping by every second I was distracted by Paul.

Paul waved to Kayla. "Don't mind me passing by, I just wanted to ask if you could kill each other a bit quieter? The game is on and we're not able to hear what the commentator says."

_We._ I took that as at least Jared but more likely Sam and Embry were there as well. I was strengthened in my conclusion when I heard at least two male voices shout something completely offensive at what was happening in the TV. It seemed as I wasn't going to eat something until late when they finally decide to leave – if there remains anything food-like after they stormed through our fridge.

"Sure."

"You're _adorable_ ," he smiled honeyed, then left, leaving me with Kayla. We looked at each other for a good minute before finally sighing and laughed anxiously.

"I'm sorry for being bossy and all," she said shaking her head lightly. "I just… want you to be happy."

I smiled at her apologetically. "I know. And I'm sorry for not being grateful for that. It's just… I'm not you, you know? I only mean that what you consider a normal pace and what society may consider a normal pace is completely different from what I want."

She looked at me before letting a mocking smile spread on her lips. "Yeah, you're a weirdo. But at least you're _my_ weirdo."

I guess I could live with that.


	3. Chapter 3 - To Date or Not To Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the arguement with Kayla, Jasmine has a big-big question mark levitating above her head: to date or not to date?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So here's the next chapter. I'm so happy to see that people actually read this! Maybe it'll sound a little bit selfish but... Could you please try and leave a comment? You have no idea how much does it mean to me! It also gives me feedbacks about the story - Twilight is a very-very new thing for me, so I'm kinda clueless if I'm doing a good job or a sucky-one.
> 
> Please? Pretty please? :D
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

The morning of Thursday came earlier than expected. I spent the rest of the Tuesday's afternoon playing Halo with Kayla (she inserted a few bad words about my lack of normal clothes in her lines of 'DIE, MOTHERFUCKER, DIEE' which she shouted at the TV screen).

Her state in the case of my romantic relationship made me pore over the subject.

Maybe she was right.

Not that I think getting laid at the age of thirteen is completely acceptable – hell, no! Profoundly disgusting if you ask me. It's hardly to be expected that someone so young could have the mental and psychic state needed to work up all the things, actions, and consequences coming with coitus.

But she was dead on the fact that we've reached the age when we stand in need of romantic stuff like having someone to hug and kiss us and say charming pretty little words. I wasn't desperate about having a boyfriend but I wouldn't have minded having one. Though that was something I never thought about bona fide, not to mention telling it to someone.

Once again Paul was the one who turned out to have the unfortunate to have this conversation with me.

"Ya know the fridge never has an answer but it mesmerizes you with all the cold and glowing."

I jumped when I heard his voice and skillfully bumped the back of my head into the self of the fridge into what I've been leaning into. I took an upright position, stroking my aching skull with a pained expression.

"Do you think I'm overage?" Though it was my voice for sure it felt like belonging to someone else. I did not want to discuss this matter with Paul (Paul of all people, God's sake!) but the question slipped out of my mouth without hesitation.

He blinked at me, confused, for a moment. "Fooor… Looking into the fridge?"

"No! "Is hook my head not entirely in irritation. "For, you know… Not-dating."

"Not-dating?" he repeated with a raised eyebrow. I shrugged and nodded, looking at him more and more hopefully with every passing moment. _Everyone_ knew he was a guy for flings and though he wasn't one giving good examples, he had _experience_ , something which I lacked.

"Look, I know romance is no field of interest if yours, all I need is your opinion. Bearing of case is: I'm fifteen and hadn't dated yet but I think about it a lot lately. Also, all of my classmates go on and on about it, most of them have a girlfriend/boyfriend, sincere intention or not. You're seventeen and… well… According to the scuttlebutt _you've_ gone around the block. So? What do you think? Am I too young? Too old? Old enough? What?"

Paul gave his head a scratch, an act of being put out of countenance. He wasn't unsure, though, it was just that the object was unusual of us. "Jinx, I don't think I'm the perfect person to correlate to. Neither is Kayla."

I gave out a repining sound. "C'mon, Paul! Who else am I supposed to discuss it with?"

"Your mom, your P.E. teacher, a teddy bear, Dr. Phil, I don't know! It's your problem, not mine!" Paul miffed, throwing his hands into the air.

I sighed fretfully and groaned. "I have no use of you."

I stepped back to the fridge and after raking the shelves I decided to warm up the spaghetti from yesterday. Paul was bending over the counter, leaning on his palms, making his upper arm tense. He had a strange grimace on his face, composed of irritation, impatience and cogitation. I knew he was dealing with the fact he's going to have a rather bothersome conversation with me.

I had time.

I put a plate of spaghetti into the microwave and watched it turning around slowly.

"Fine!" Paul yelled finally. I smirked in triumph. "I'm going to give you the bees-and-flowers talk."

"I've already got that five years ago, thanks," I rolled my eyes. "All I need is a simple 'yes' or 'no'." The microwave chirped so I went to take out my dinner. "My birthday is coming up!" I realized suddenly and desperately. "My birthday is coming up, and I haven't even had someone interested in me!"

Well, remember when I said I wasn't desperate to find a guy? Well, I was honest though I have to tell you that I was the kind of person who was able to go panicking anytime about basically anything. Right now, that thing was me getting old – I could already see my future, dying in the circle of twelve cat, sitting on a pizza box-throne. My body will be found after a week or so because the neighbors won't be able to stand the smell of my dry-rotten, dead body which the cats already started to eat. _Yeah, that's going to happen._

Paul stopped me before I could've started panicking in deed. "Jinx! Your birthday is in August; it's only March. Besides, it's just your 16th birthday, not like the 50th one."

"It only means that I have five years left to be twenty-one, but since I'm precocious, I can add five more years which is twenty-six, which can be rounded to thirty, which is basically forty, which is closer to fifty than to twenty, so I should write my last will because I WILL FUCKING DIE!" I practically shouted the last part, much to Paul's displeasure. He backed a step thus keeping the enemy (me) in check and laughed malevolently.

"O-kay, sis, calm the hell down! You're making too much of your age. For the rest, if it means anything to you, I'll always be older than you."

"It does not!" I retorted harshly. "I mean… Men are like wine: as time goes by they become more delicious and of greater value. Have you ever seen Harrison Ford? "He gave me an 'are you for real?' look. Right. Star Wars was one of his favorite movies of all time. "Well, he was a sloppy boy as Han Solo. Then after a few years he started filming Indiana Jones and bum, band, getcha', he was freaking hot!"

"I can't have the floor on him. Not like that," He grinned cheekily. I spat.

"Just accept it. Now you see women are like bourbon after a time: they make you sick. For women it's going from Beyoncé to Whoopi Goldberg."

"One does not simply make fun of Whoopi, 'kay? Chick got her moves."

"And here I thought your genre is Jessica Alba!" I taunted, nearly all of the previous outburst's panic-like jangled-nerves gone. He shoot out his tongue and tugged at my ponytail as a revenge.

"On your age-issue… You're an idiot. "Yes, simply as that, he declared I'm an idiot, jumped off the counter and walked through the door.

"Thanks for the helluva talkin', you1re a crackjack!" I yelled after him, not really expecting an answer. He didn't give one but waved goodbye as he passed by the window, heading to the woods.

Well, he didn't give me a leg up.

"You shouldn't take Kayla's words as sacred writs," Gracie said the next day as we plod along the school's hallways. "In fact, you should do with them what the Jews did with the tabled of the law: put them in the Ark of the Covenant and never take it out."

"The Ark of the Covenant is not a proven fact, more like fiction, if you ask me. They had written memories about it but no one actually has seen and proved its existence."

"All the more it resembles Kayla's knowledge."

"Gracie!" I flicked her on the shoulder. Though I had to admit she was most likely right, Kay was still my best friend. "Look, okay, maybe Kayla is an extreme case but nevertheless I feel a bit behind-handed. I never had a guy telling me he likes me."

"Well, there was Jimmy…" she started but I intervened before she could finish.

"DON'T even mention him!" I felt a shudder of disgust running along my spine. It was a memory I would've been happy to forget. "Maybe I should do something feminine… What do boys think of as feminine?"

Gracie shrugged and turned a page. Sometimes I wondered how she managed avoiding falling down the stairs or smashing into someone. "Cheerleaders?"

I looked down on myself, giving extra heed to my baggy, gray hoodie once belonging to Paul. I tried really hard to find something cheerleaderly-pretty in or on me and when it didn't work, I imagined myself in one of those bitchy outfits they wore.

"Yeah... That's not going to happen," I stated after daring the inference and looked up at Grace.

"Well, you're part of the cross country running team and you can turn a somersault," Grace suggested somewhat at hr wits end.

"Really?" Tucker's face appeared above our shoulders. He was eating a particularly juicy hamburger so when he spoke it was equally disgusting and baffling. "You can? I don't believe you."

"You better do!" I proudly put my hands on my waist.

"Prove it!" He grinned defiantly, splattering crispy sauce-specks on Gracie who wiped it off her face without a word.

"Don't be stupid, Tuck, she won't be – oh my god, Jass!"

I was never one to turn down an opportunity to show one of my friends he was wrong so when Grace looked at me I was already sitting on my heels with my palms on the floor.

"Beware! Cannonball!" I shouted in order for the crowd on the hallway to make way for me. Most of them jumped aside forthwith, the rest did so when they realized what I'm about to do. Grace shouted something like 'you're an idiot', but I didn't listen to her and rolled forward.

After I gave the first momentum it came by itself after every roll. I don't know how many of them did I do but I'd say around seven or eight before I came in contact with something solid (a pair of legs) which took me out of my way. I had a dash at the wall, making me heel over like a tenpin. I satyed like that. Not because I was hurt or something but rather I heard Tuck laughing hysterically like one of those whistle dog balls and it made me laugh so hard I just couldn't get myself to stand up. Even my shoulder shook which could've been misconceived as sobbing in pain – and someone did so.

"Jass!" I heard Seth yelling my name wretchedly. Turned out his legs were the ones I bumped into. He kneeled down next to me and put one of his large and hot hands on my upper arm, slightly tightening his gentle grip after I didn't react straightaway. "Jass, are you okay?"

Grace and Tuck ran to me as well; the later still not suspended his heehaw-attack. "You're such a brat!" Grace told me, her voice contained much less worry than Seth's.

After a good minute of lying there shaking of laughter I managed to open my eyes and look up at Seth. Seeing my teary eyes his face first went into a horrified grimace but after he realized those were tears of joy he eased his features.

"Are you okay?" he asked again now with a small sanguine smile on his lips.

"Sure, it's… It's all fair and square," I affirmed him after I found my voice, though it faltered in the aftereffect of hard laughing sometimes. Seth sighed and closed his eyes for a moment before looking back at me.

Now that we were so close to each other, with me strictly speaking lying on the ground, leaning on my outstretched hand and him squatting right next to me, had I only realized how mesmerizing his eyes were. It had cast some kind of clogging spell on me – like the fridge. However, rather than cold, his eyes' magic lied in warmness. The glowing, I must say, applied to him as well though it was a rather inner-glow than an actual light-like thing. Had I been a poet, I'd have said his eyes were a real mirror of his soul and there was the gleam of his friendly warmth and love in those beautiful, dark, almond-shaped eyes of his. But I wasn't a poet so I just recognized that he had fascinating eyes. And basically every other part of his body was fascinating but that was something I kept for myself.

I must've been lost in my mind as I slowly became conscious of him talking (or more like gabbling). Not that it was surprising – he was _always_ talking.

"…sorry! I did not mean to get you hurt, I just, I don't know, didn't see you coming, I mean, rolling towards me and when I did it was already too late, and… Huh. Are you sure you're okay? Are you in pain? Your head, shoulders, neck, anything? Should I accompany you to the school's doctor? You might have bruises or something…"

I bet he would've kept on truckin', but I interrupted. "Hey, hey, relax, Seth!" I chuckled and laid a palm flat against his rapidly rising-sinking chest. Okay, I must confess, I did so guided by a somewhat selfish desire rather than in order to clam his nerves down. But hey, don't judge – that guy was hot! And dang it, that chest…! I didn't know where Uley got his steroids but they were good ones. "Seth, I'm fine. Really! Though my head's starting to ache, trying to process all the stuff you say in barely one moment."

"Sorry," he hung his head low, "I've been told to shut up a few times already."

He was playing sorrowful pup again. Shit, why was he so unbelievably cute? "Aw, Puppy," I muttered unwittingly.

"What?" he looked up.

"Nothing!" I answered suspiciously hurriedly and looked around to find no trace of Grace or Tuck. They must've slipped by when I wasn't playing attention. The bell rang and I remembered I was supposed to already be at the classroom; I got up in haste. "I'm having physics right now so I must go."

"Wait!" he grabbed my hand and stood p as well. I looked at him questioningly. "I'm having physics, too."

I frowned in confusion. "No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"Weren't you attending chemistry?"

"I've ditched it," he explained with a bright smile. The idea of him actually ditching chemistry for _me_ crossed my mind but I shooed it away. _No, he just came round finally and realized chemistry is stupid._

"Okay, then," I looked to the side uncertainly then got going towards the physics classroom. Seth was next to me throughout, and seemed to easily pick up the pace which annoyed me given the fact I was one of the fastest runners on the team and he wasn't even straining himself to keep up with me. Nevertheless, he scampered like an overgrown puppy.

The physics classroom was in fact an auditorium with five lines of desktops, each offering seven seats, kind of unnecessarily large for a school with so little number of students. Surprisingly enough it was nearly always filled thanks to the fact that it was the least interesting course to most of the people and those who weren't fast enough to sign for something easy like American culture had to take physics in order to get the needed credits to graduate.

When we opened the door the teacher, Mr. Crabgrass was already writing a formula onto the big green board. Luckily for us, the door was on the other end of the room and he was showing his back to us so we had the chance to sneak in without him noticing. I crept along the edges of the desks, carefully bending down. When I passed by James Dogwood, I pilfered a chocolate ball lying unattended on the very side. He realized but said nothing; we were kind of friends (he was on the running team, too) so he grinned then turned back to copy what the teacher was writing. Finally I reached my seat and after slowly and silently lowering the folding seat, I sat down. Grace who sat next to me pushed my notebook and a pen to me. I descried gladly that she already wrote down everything to me.

Seth, on the other hand, was louder than me and when he tried to lower his seat hastily it whipped back with a loud knocking sound. All of the people in the room looked at him and he just stayed in squatter position with his eyes shut tightly.

"I suppose you finally decided to honor my class with actually showing up, Clearwater," Mr. Crabgrass said without turning backwards. That guy was one hell of a sharp-eared.

"I'm sorry, sir," Seth answered with his cheeks burning red in shame and finally took his seat. "I… I couldn't find the classroom."

"Dammit!" I whispered into the silence. Seth just saved my ass from being kicked out of the class for being late. Mr. Crabgrass had that thing for those being late, he just didn't accept explanations after a while and he was particularly biased with me. Not that I was always late but it happened… occasionally.

"Ah, Lockwood's arrived, too." He finally turned around and leant against the teacher's desk. He was in his late thirties with biceps as thick as my thighs. Not the typical physics teacher you would expect – add it to his piercing green eyes (he was only half-Indian, just like my father), short, shaggy brown hair and boyish face and you'd say he's a model.

He was the Satan himself.

"I don't know what you're talking about, sir," I responded unblinkingly. He raised an eyebrow and upended.

"The class's started seven minutes ago and you were late. Again. That means I can suspend you from class."

"I'm sorry but I must assert the contrary. I've been here all the time." I hated to lie (I was not brought up that way), but there was no freaking way I'd let him win.

Mr. Crabgrass raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?"

"Yes."

"Interesting. When I last turned around I was _sad_ to find your seat empty."

_Shit!_

Think, Jasmine, think…

"My shoelaces got loose so I ducked under the table." Yes! I'm a genius!

"For seven minutes?"

… Or I am not.

"I guess I'm a gammy." Hah! I'm still shit hot at fabricating excuses. After all, Kayla taught me.

"And of course you also had time to write notes while under the table. Right?"

His voice was so pompous I had the urge to smash his face into the desk.

I held up my notebook (full of Grace's notes) and grinned smugly. "That's right."

He narrowed his eyes but since he had found no grip on me, he decided to let it sink.

In my case, at least.

"Clearwater!" I saw Seth raising his head very slowly, his eyebrows furrowed in despair.

"Yes?"

"Could you please tell me what do we see on the sheet?"

I haven't realized he had set up a small laser beam with a small slit and a screen till then. We were studying optics, more precisely the diffraction of light and I knew by instinct that Seth had no fucking idea about it – judging by the fact he looked like a lost puppy at the teacher's question.

"On the… screen?"

"Yes." Seth looked horrified.

"Uh… Uhm… Well, uh… I, uh…"

"Impressive, Clearwater. You _clearly_ found the suitable course for you." Some people of the class laughed but after I sent them a hard glare, they had shut up. The impulse of killing Crabgrass grew with every passing moment – terrorizing poor little Puppy!

Seth blushed a deeper shade of red. "A play of light?" he asked finally.

"Yes, and the English Queen is a primate," Crabgrass grinned fiendishly. "Details, Clearwater. _What_ do you see?"

Seth opened and closed his mouth, undoubtedly having no idea what was going on. Silence settled on the room, a rather awkward one – I guess the atmosphere similar to the execution's. I shifted uncomfortably; I knew the answer and I was dying to tell him somehow. How I wished I'd have telepathic thoughts!

"I don't know, sir," Seth said quietly after a minute or so.

"Excuse me?" Crabgrass asked, even tilting his head to the side as if he hadn't heard him clearly. _Jerk_ , I narrowed my eyes at his delight.

"I don't know the answer, sir," Seth repeated louder and more embarrassed this time. The teacher smiled victoriously.

"Surprises, surprises..." He looked at Seth with a huge, predator-like grin before moving on his gaze, scanning the others. "Anyone else?"

"A kangaroo!" came the voice from somewhere back.

Crabgrass looked up at the ceiling. "Dogwood, shut up."

My time has come. "The diffraction of light caused by the light's waves bending around a barrier, the slit in our case. The light spots are the maximas, where the waves' interference is constructive thus the amplitude of the resulting wave shows positive growth."

Once again, there was silence – amused and eased one from the side of the class and a displeased one from Crabgrass.

_I got you!_

"That's right, Lockwood." Though in theory he was saying I was right, his face was twitching strangely, making it look like he was having a mild seizure. He turned around keenly and wrote another formula on the board. "Now, about the T representing the angle between the wave ray to a point on the screen…"

I was smiling to myself even when I was writing down the equation.

After class, I reached the door along with Seth, whose moves were slow and dejected. I unwittingly had to smile at him sympathetically.

"So… You're not one for physics, now, are you?" I asked him, the smile slowly turning to be teasing.

"It's not like that!" He tugged at the strap of his colorful shoulder-bag. "I was blocked by surprise. That's all."

"Tell that to the marines!" I retorted urgently. "Seth, _why_ did you take physics? _Why_ , at the end of the year?"

He hesitated for a moment and tried to speak a few times before saying, with an awkward head-scratch and a rather adorable (and hot) smile: "Would you believe me if I'd say because of you?"

I stilled immediately and looked up at him wide-eyed.

_Did he just say what I think he said?_

I was ninety-nine percent sure he did.

I felt my heart racing mad in my chest before it made its way straight into my throat, making me unable to speak. No, there was no way he meant it seriously. I was only me and I never attracted boys. Except for Jimmy, but it was different. I mean, he was _Jimmy_.

No. Seth Clearwater obviously weren't attracted to me, either, like the others.

"Yeah, sure," I smiled in disbelief and frustration. "I understand if you don't want to tell me the truth but you still suck."

He seemed to be about to disagree with me but he soon lowered his forefinger he raised up in resistance. "Yep, I guess I… I thought I'm smarter than I really am."

How could someone resist that sad tone?!

"You are smart, Seth!" Was I complimenting him? I guess I was. "You just need to get private coaching."

His eyes flashed with excitement and cheer. "Really?"

"Sure!" I looked at my watch which said I have barely five minutes to get my ass out on the field, change into sweaters and trainers and make up for the past days I've spent at home without training. "Look, I must get cracking to practice, but… Do you want to come over around five? I could tutor you best as I can."

If his eyes were flashing before they were now practically putting my eyes out with the aid of his bright and radiant smile.

"You would do that?" He stepped closer trustfully, the scent of him filling my nostrils. Gosh, he even smelled like chocolate! It made me wanna lick him… Which would've been kinda inappropriate.

"Of course." I boxed into his shoulder playfully. "We are friends, right?"

His smile trembled a bit at the term 'friends' but soon composed himself. "Cool! I'll see ya at five, then!"

I nodded and set off to the training fields.

I guess I had a date in the afternoon. Unfortunately, it wasn't the kind of date I've been waiting for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I would have one question towards you - I'm at my wits end at the question: should Jasmine be 'supernatural' as well? I don't mean like a werewolf or a vampire but something in relation with shamanizm... Would it ruin the story or would it be better? I'm planning to include her in the major events coming up, but I don't know which way would it be better (or which way would she turn out to be a Mary Sue).
> 
> Thank you in advance, guys!


	4. Chapter 4 - Imprinting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth's point of view of the first chapter

Seth POV

Hearing each other's thoughts, feel each other's feelings has it ups and downs – one downside is from the part of my sister, who else. Partly I could relate to her being angry because she has to face Sam and his utter love towards Emily every single day; he was her big school love and she was her best friend- But Leah could really understand that her constant crankiness was driving everyone crazy.

I loved to shutter in the woods as a wolf, the speed, freedom and power I felt like that was overwhelming but if that meant I had to continuously face (and feel) Leah's grumbling then I had to thought about giving it all up or at least phasing less often. The first week after my very first phase was horrible, not knowing when will my emotion overload enough for me turning into a giant wolf all of a sudden. After we learnt what really happened to Emily… I was afraid of accidentally hurting mum. Of course she was also afraid of me and Leah getting hurt but we all know who has supernatural endurance.

What would've happened if I'm too close to her when I'm phasing and hurt her like Sam hurt Emily? As I noticed everyone had different reasons for spontaneous phasing: for Sam and Paul it was anger, for Jake it was extreme happiness, for Leah it was angst and for me it was nervousness. Unfortunately I was nervous a lot but thanks to Sam and Jake a week and a half of training was enough for me to have control over my phase and so I could go to school again.

"I don't want to go to school!" I argued childishly with Sam when on Sunday night he wanted to send me home, saying I had school tomorrow. "I'm the next in patrolling and I want to stay with you guys!"

Okay maybe I wasn't as thankful as I was supposed to be.

"Seth, we've already talked through this," Sam sighed, exasperated, and quickened his pace. He was heading to Emily's house but I somehow felt he was trying to leave me behind as well along with the distance. "You're a freshman in high school and vampires do not stay here for forever so you need to learn to have a good job. Besides, your mother would kill me if you'd get hurt because of us."

"It's nearly the end of the year, my grades are good and anyway, running never hurt nobody! I mean, aren't they teach in school that you need to do sports to stay healthy?" I claimed vehemently and caught up next to Sam.

Sam rolled his eyes. "I don't think they meant _that_ way."

Okay, he had a point.

Sam folded a branch of a pine away from his way which slapped me in the face when jumping back to its place. I took a pratfall. Not by the force, I mean, but the by the element of surprise and my general inattention but I soon sprang to my feet so I could ran after Sam.

"Sam, please!" I tried again though there was barely thirteen feet till the treeline where Emily lived and there was the end of story, kaputt, the game's up. Because of Emily being Sam's imprint whenever she was around Sam was unable to listen to anyone else. "I'll be quick, I promise! Just a few rounds?"

Sam didn't even bother to answer me he just shook his head and crossed the pebbly road leading to the nice wooden house's stairs. As if feeling us coming (which obviously wasn't the case because she didn't have super sense of smell – I on the other hand had been smelling the sweet scent of her famous blueberry muffin from half a mile and my belly had been craving them) Emily opened the front-door and waved us. Sam's face softened as soon as he saw Emily and I knew I failed.

"Go home, Seth," he said after hurrying to Emily and kissing her. On other days I found their love cute, Leah or not, but now I was standing around.

"Oh, c'mon!"

"This is no bone of contention," he answered decisively and judging by his glare he really didn't want to talk about this. I grimaced disappointedly, turned around my heels and started to walk away with my hands in my pocket.

"Seth!" Emily yelled, making me look back at her. "The cookies are right out of the oven, don't you want a bite? I can store it away for you if you want."

 _Yes, yes, yes_ , my inner self nodded repeatedly and hungrily. "No, thanks," said my outer, seeable-for-others self. My resentment was childish but Sam thought I'm a child anyway so I must as well just act like one.

I kicked pebbles out of my way huffily as I went. I heard someone, Sam, judging by his cumbersome steps, going back to the house while the other one, Emily, looked after me for a while before following my alpha.

"You could let him down gently," I heard Emily's voice coming through the open kitchen-window. What Sam said to this was unheard by me because I fling myself into the woods and phased in a 'doing-for-doing's-sake kind of way and did the rest of the walk home in my wolf form. Mum wasn't happy because I've ruined another pair of jeans but she was getting accustomed to shopping for clothes more often these days.

On Monday I arrived at the school a bit late – being late wasn't my thing but I really didn't want to go. Who would like to stagnate in mathematics when you just learnt there's magic all around you?! One may like pancakes but after he tastes pancakes with nutellát he will never want pancakes with jam afterwards.

I didn't like the fact that as soon as I stepped into the school I found myself in the cross-fire of pitiful gazes. It got me down even more – I still didn't completely processed dad's death, it was too close but when I wasn't thinking about it it was okay. Thought it's a really hard thing not to think about when you always bump into flows of sympathy-expressing and people saying how dad was such a good man.

Keeping out of people's way was working while on the hallway but Mr. Anderson, our history teacher nearly attacked me at the classroom's door. I couldn't just send him away. After he let me go, I found most of my classmates inside the classroom and I've tried to sneak to my seat as fast as I could.

"'Stay away', huh?" one of my classmates, Jasmine Lockwood mumbled when I passed by her. I don't know the exact reason but I felt like she was talking about me. But why? I had to think about the possibility of her being aware of shape-shifters. I mean, she was Paul's stepsister and from what I saw in Paul's memories (I didn't want to fumble in his head but it was something I had no control over) they were pretty close to each other… Of course Sam forbade us to talk about werewolves in his Alpha voice. Even Paul couldn't fight that. Still I felt like something's wrong, my inner instinct said so.

"Hey, buddy!" I sat down next to Joey who looked up from a brand new edition of Tanks (Joey was fond of world war and other military stuff) and grinned.

"Hey! You've decided to show up finally?"

"I had no choice."

"Yeah, I get that." _No, you don't_ , I sighed in resignation. The past weeks made me feel so accustomed to the pack's presence it nearly felt weird to be around Joey though he was my best friend since first grade. I felt a tingling feeling in my stomach which I knew wouldn't disappear until I get together with the other at mealtime. I glanced sideways at Joey who was talking about some German Tiger (I was thankful for him not bringing up my father); how will he take the fact I'll be around him less often? I could've flatter myself saying the pack wouldn't ruin or friendship but I knew better. There was only one thing above the pack for a wolf: his imprint. But I thought it was hopeless. Billy Black said it was a really rare thing and given two member of the pack have already imprinted, with Sam and Jared, our pack was already special.

"Eternal love couldn't be that bad, though," I murmured unwittingly saying out loud what I was thinking.

"What?" Joey perked his head up.

"Nothing!"

I bet everyone has heard of Murphey being in the pink of health and having a habit of making fun of people – usually it applies for small things like when you don't have an umbrella with you it will surely rain and when you duck a class because you're about to write a test the teacher's undoubtedly absent. Only the really catastrophic ones have the misfortune to, for example, not going for a dinner and their most favorite star's going to be there.

Once in a blue moon, though, Murphey's spinning the wheel of fortune so it stands in your good stead.

I didn't even realize I've been looking up at Jasmine occasionally who sat a few branched in front of me only when she turned around, looked into my eyes and I… Froze.

I don't know how could I explain the very feeling what took over me then. The world turned upside down and everything went slur except for her. My heart missed a beat before starting to pound so hard I feared it's going to burst out of my ribcage. I couldn't focus, I couldn't think and I could bless my stars for my jaw-muscles remaining tight so I didn't drool literally though my eyes went dry from me not blinking. Right then and there I felt I've finally found my life goal which was making Jass happy at every cost. I didn't dare to look away though I could tell she was getting uncomfortable under my gaze; I had ridiculous ideas of what may happen to her if I look away such as an asteroid banging into the surface of the Earth. Or a satellite. There was a lot of space debris circulating around Earth, right? It seemed like a down-to-earth thing. By all means.

The urge of getting up immediately and ran to her and follow her everywhere tightly like her shadow struck me. Maybe I would've even done that but Joey brought me back to reality and the teacher came into the classroom as well. Still, I couldn't keep my eyes off of her.

After school I hurried home (I told Joey I want to be alone and he believed me; it felt really bad to lie to him) and I ran to Jake as fast as I could.

"Jake, Jake, Jake!" I yelled from the driveway. I knew Jake would've heard it even if he hadn't been a werewolf with super-hearing ability. I practically jumped to the veranda and started to bang on the door in excitement.

"Hey, hey, where are you bound for, kiddo, in such a hurry?" Billy asked when he opened the door for me.

"I'm looking for Jake, Billy, it's really important!" I gabbled breathlessly. Mum must've said something about me being impolite for not greeting Billy first but I could care less. I tried to lurk behind Billy. I didn't have to exert myself since, you know, he was in a wheelchair, not really blocking the view.

"Well if it's really important then go and look for him, I last saw his corpse on the couch," Billy said getting out of my way but I couldn't wait so I jumped over him and hastened inside the living room. Just like Billy said Jake was lying on the couch stock-still with his face buried into the cushions. There was a lot of empty chips and candy bags. I really didn't want to hurt his feelings but Jake even smelled like a corpse though probably it was better for my physical health not to mention that face to face.

"Jake, Jake!" I kneeled down next to him forcefully and started to shake his shoulders. "Jake, are you asleep?"

An annoyed grunt muffled by the cushion came from Jake as an answer. "No. I was in diabetic coma thanks for saving me."

I paid no attention to his undoubtedly grumpy mood and continued the shaking. "Jake, you won't believe what happened today! Do you hear me, Jake? Holloa!"

"It turned out your sister is not a werewolf but a werewolverine?" he grumbled, still facing the cushion.

"No!"

"Shame. It would've explained a lot about her personality."

I rolled my eyes and punched his shoulder. Jake gave out a moaning-humming sound but otherwise he stayed quiet. I decided to let him be and straightened my torso. "I've imprinted," I announced happily with my eyes shining bright in joy.

For a long second there was silence which I took as a sign of surprise. _Silence. Is it good or is it bad? No, I think it's good… But what if it's not? Maybe it's horrible news and Jake doesn't like it? I don't want him to be angry at me! Jesus, why did I have to inherit mum's reflux?!_

"I don't have time for bullshit, Seth, don't you see I'm busy?" he answered finally and turned around so he showed his back to me. "Go and chase butterflies on the meadow."

His disbelieve started to annoy me now. "I'm serious, Jake!" I persevered huffily.

Jake raised his head immediately and he looked at me through his half-lidded eyelids. "Say what?"

"I've imprinted," I repeated. The more times I said it the more secure I got I've _really_ imprinted. I felt like repeating it all day – I've imprinted, I've imprinted, I've imprinted, I've finally imprinted!... Okay, I'm done.

Jake sat up and swung his legs to the side so quickly he nearly kicked me in the guts. "You've seriously imprinted?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yeah."

I don't know what kind of reaction was I expecting from him; I would've said happy one but Jake was quite grumpy nowadays.

"C'mon! Even you?!

…well, I wasn't expecting that! In fact, I even got somewhat insulted.

"That tone hurts me a bit, you know…"

"Sorry," he grumbled and forced a smile on his face then patted my shoulder. "Congratulations, mate, you've skillfully submitted your freedom to your genes, but… Isn't this shit supposed to be rare?"

"Well, yeah, it is," I shrugged," but maybe we are a special generation or there was too much mixing between the families or something like that. Who knows? I don't really care anyways, I only know that I've imprinted! Because I think I've had…

"When did that happen?"

"In the morning and I- ouch!" I grabbed my head because Jake hit me with a remote. "What's wrong with you?!"

"In the morning? We had lunch together! Why didn't you mention it?" Jake questioned angrily and threw the remote at me once more after I unsuspectingly gave it back to him.

"Ouch! Would you stop it?" I slid further away from him on the floor. As if he wasn't able to hit me there… "Everyone was there, okay? I don't know, maybe I was afraid you might've mocked me and there was Paul…"

"What does Paul have to do with all this?" Jake asked uncomprehendingly.

"I'm afraid he's going to kill me," I answered. Simply as that. Jake raised an eyebrow.

"Why would he?"

I hummed and looked to the side. "Because my imprint is… Jasmine."

Jake wasn't even trying to hide his dismay showing in his features. "Lockwood?"

"Yes, Paul's sister." While saying 'I've imprinted' imbued me with happiness, identifying Jass as Paul's sister made me very nervous. I don't know why I was so afraid of him, I mean, we were brothers through the pack but my fear, dancing on the edge of healthy and unhealthy, afired within me.

Jake didn't looked as convinced as I was. "Why would Paul hurt you? Okay, I don't like him more than I have to and he's a bit of a nuts but he knows it's not like you have control over it."

"She's his sister anyways, right?" I argued nearly as successfully as I did with Sam the other day. "I mean, I guess it's a brother-sister kind of thing. Wouldn't you want to kill Paul if he would imprint on Rachel?"

As I could tell the bare thought of it made Jake sick. Okay, it wasn't likely according to me, either knowing how Rachel is but Rebecca has moved to Hawaii, I couldn't say her name. "If Paul would imprint on Rachel, I'd kill _myself_ , not him."

"True, maybe Paul thinks I'm reliable," I told myself, sinking deeply in the ocean of thoughts." I'd love Leah to have a reliable, normal, kind guy who would distract her from Sam as well."

"You're not that lucky, Leah's going to have a serial killer as a boyfriend, at most," Jake grinned maliciously. I sent him a sullen glare.

"Sometimes I fell you forget you're talking about my sister."

Jake shrugged but did nothing to wipe that grin off of his face. Saddest part is slowly I had to agree with him. I loved my sister but since we were all dropped into the Sam-Emily-Leah love-drama-triangle I came to wish she would just go away though she's my sister and I should take her side, no matter what. I don't know if Leah's able to imprint being the first she-wolf in our history of the tribe but I really hoped so. It was our and her last chance to happiness.

The temporary, contemplative silence falling upon us was broke by Jake who asked something I could've ask myself as well. "So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know," I answered honestly, then smiled in a wool-gathering way while looking at the floor. "My head is a mess right now and the only thing I know is I'm starting to get sick being able from Jass…"

"Oh, how sweet, he's petting her and he's almost drooling!" Jake babbled mockingly and tweaked my cheek, then stood up.

"Where are you going?" I looked after him curiously. He scraped his balls aesthetically through his pants. I was a boy so I was used to and understood it but he could've been more discrete.

"There's love in the air so I'm going to eat a vitamin before I catch it," he yelled from somewhere in the corridor, larded with yawns. I wanted to yell 'and what's up with my problem?' after him but I soon realized Jake's no expert in this field, either. Maybe it would've been wiser to ask someone who has already gone through what I'm going through right now, maybe Sam or Jared could give me some advice. But before I could do anything there was a loud knock (bang) on the door and bull-like puffing.

"Have you arranged a pack-meeting in my house, Jake?" Billy asked while he was rolling to the front door. The door swung open but I didn't see who was there because of the wall blocking my view. "Look, I get that we're friends and all but couldn't you have put on pants or something?"

"Is Seth there?" Paul! It was hard not to recognize his voice which out voiced Billy's. I didn't know if I should panic in the end or not so I started to run around the living room like a crackpot, trying to find something I could hide behind. I wasn't sure Paul was really as understanding as Jake said he would be but eventually I had to perceive I'm way to big for hide-and-seek, I must be a man and stand in front of Paul – besides, there was nothing big enough to hide me.

"In the living room, Paul!" I tried to be and sound confident but my voice was hoarser than I wanted it to be. It barely took two seconds for Paul to show up in the door of the living room (in the nude, I add, which meant he transformed back into human in a hurry), his grimace a strange mix of anger and stupefaction. _Oops._

"You imprinted on my sister?" he asked; now, I was surprised to find his voice not of "I WILL KILL YOU" kind but rather an "I will castrate you in your sleep if you don't tell me right now" kind. It wasn't light years better but at least I had a chance to live and talk.

"Well… Yes, I did, but in my excuse, it wasn't intentional!" I excused, automatically backing. Paul came closer with every step I made and though we were the same height I still felt like a midget in front of him.

"Why the fuck did you do that?" he nictitated angrily. I didn't get the point of his question.

"Why…what?

"Why her?" he asked now in a more frustrated, less mad way. I started to get lost.

"You know, Paul, it's not my choice," I said, gesticulating so heavily I accidentally knocked off a porcelain cat off one of the shelves. I looked at it frightened but didn't dare to bend down and collect the pieces. It was ugly anyway; in fact I made a favor for Billy.

Meanwhile, Paul started to stroll around grumpily and huffily and mumbled things like 'it can't be true'. "There're so many girls in the rez!" he complained. "Why must she, of all the girls, be chosen by your stupid genes?"

I frowned slightly in resentment. "Why, I'm that bad?"

Paul glanced at me all at once and grimaced. "No. No, you're not, it could be worse _…" Thank you very much._ "I just didn't want her to be involved in all this shape-shifting-bloodsucker shit going on."

I could relate to that. Though I did not think about that in earnest before, my stomach was seized with a cramp when I realized Jass will know everything – what if she reacts badly? What if she doesn't like werewolves at all? It's one thing that she wouldn't believe me, if I need to, I'll be the crazy guy but if she does believe but doesn't want to be part of it? It's a completely different matter… What if she says no? Malaise descended upon me. I already felt like not being able to breathe because I have to wait till tomorrow to see her but what if she says she doesn't wanna see me ever again? I couldn't stand it. Of course Emily resisted Sam at first because of Leah then gave up and they're living their happily ever after since then but what if Jasmine simply won't like me? Or she won't want to be part of our supernatural world? It would've been understandable in normal aspect…

I grew white in panic; at least that's what I deducted by the look of Jake who suddenly appeared in the doorway. "Are you alright, kiddo?"

I would've liked to answer but I couldn't. I was sunk in my own marsh of self-torturing questions. I planked myself down on the couch, gently, like a battering ram, and stared into nothing. I did not face the opportunity of Jasmine saying simply 'no' before. What will happen then?

"What's wrong with him?" Paul asked Jake and though I didn't see him, I was sure Jake shrugged because no answer way said. "By the look of him, he's about to faint…"

"Seth, there's the glass table in front of you and Billy will be angry if you faint and fall on it," Jake warned me,

"And if you spontaneously self-drown yourself then Sue will be really angry at us," Paul added," so you might as well just breath."

Their concern and worry meant a lot to me, really. I knew them well enough so I knew they would took my death to their heart even if they were hiding it really professionally. I was nearly relaxed enough to faint when I realized that if I'd need revivification, that would mean oral respiration, and none of the three choices (Jake, Paul, Billy) was promising. Thus I put myself together and took a deep breath.

"What am I supposed to do?" I stammered in fright, still looking at nothing.

"With what?" Jake asked.

"Jasmine." Had I ever mentioned how beautiful I found her name? No? But I did… Jasmine; I could repeat it for hours as well like 'I've imprinted'. I gave up the staring at the wall because it denied answering my thousands of questions so I turned to face Jake and Paul. "How am I supposed to deal with this? What if she says no? When am I supposed to tell her what I am, what you are and what's happening to us? How should I start, anyway? We don't talk that much, won't it be strange if I just go after her? It will surely be…But I can't do anything else! The only way I can breathe and live if she's there. I'll throw up anon…"

"Okay, it's getting weird now," Paul shook his head (still in his Adam-costume) and moved to the door. "Talk it over among yourselves how you'll pick up my sister. But I warn you, Seth: if I'll have to hear more than one sentence about how much you love her, I will bite your ear."

It sounded way less of a threat as he will kill me so all in all the conversation was successful. Except for the fact that I sank into overall lethargy as a precursor of my future failure. It depended on a little not to chew my nails like a neurotic while dozens of questions raced threw my mind like Nascar cars but I could not find a solution for either of them, yet. I was hoping maybe Jake will sympathize with me as a sign of our friendship but I had to disappoint because Jake burst out laughing.

"What are you laughing at?" I looked up at him grumpily.

"I just realized," he groaned between two laughter fit," that Paul will be your brother-in-law."

This thought made me not want to cry, not giggle.


	5. Chapter 5 - Crush on Seth Clearwater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Watermelons, sibling relationships and the Closed Door

When I got home around four I felt an unfamiliar kind of excitement. Maybe my body wasn't aware of the fact it wasn't a date? Sure, 'I'll tutor you' was indeed a common cover for dating intentions but once again: Seth was Seth. A copper-skinned, chocolate-eyed, smiling half-god with washboard abs (which I saw the other day when he was hanging out with the others at the beach). True, he's probably started working out in the past two weeks or so (maybe that was the way he dealt with tragic) thus his self-awareness was still at the level of a skinny, un-muscled teen. I should've had stoop on him while he doesn't know how handsome and sexy he was. But I realized it wasn't me but my inner Kayla whispering such things to my subconscious. I had to fight the urge to make a dash at him really hard.

Surprisingly enough I found Paul at home. He didn't make it to the school, though, I guess his laziness and negligence stopped him form waking up in the morning. That and the fact he's been out all night again. Hell knew what they were doing out in the woods in the middle of the night.

"Paul," I named him in a surprised tone.

"Jassy-Jinx," he nodded calmly. His solid smile looked strange on his lips. O looked below and saw he was holding three watermelons. I bet they weren't feathery but he stood there as if they were. "How was school?"

"Fine," I shrugged, still looking at the watermelons," Coach assured me I'm still going to the state competition in Seattle."

Paul grimaced. "Why would you want to go to Seattle?"

I raised an eyebrow at that. "Because it's the state competition and I wanna win?"

"Jass, do you read newspapers?"

I rolled my eyes and tossed my bag to a corner then dosed down at the couch. "The murders? Yeah, of course I've read about them. So what? There are approximately a hundred murders every day in New York and still more than eight million people live there."

"They weren't killed for their money or fancy phone or something material and common, Jass," Paul argued." They were murdered brutally, some of them tore apart. Literally. By some b-itch."

The way his voice cracked after the 'b' sound didn't go unseen by me. He wanted to say something different; he knew something I didn't. How? How could he know a detail the newspapers haven't put on the front page yet? I didn't ask, of course. I was way smarter and smoother than that and I knew he would never give me an honest answer. So I decided to find out myself. Researching, exploring new secrets, digging deep into the dirt was fun, anyways.

"Whatever," I sighed. "By the way, why are you carrying watermelons around? To seem busy so Mom won't make you do housework?"

"Molly's out. She went to buy some flowers. "I gave a grunt. Mom was obsessed with flowers, she could spent hours just looking at the seeds without actually buying anything. I'm sure it was her idea to name all of us after flowers: Jasmine, Lily, Rose. Tyler was lucky, fortunately, most of the flower names are feminine. He could've been Huckleberry, though. "The watermelons… I found them in the kitchen."

 _Yeah, there's where food usually is. If you'd have found them in the chimney that would've been newsworthy._ "And what are you going to do with them?"

He stayed still for a moment. "Nothing."

"You wanted to crash them with a hammer, didn't you?"

"…No."

"It was a stupid plan." I narrowed my eyes. He smiled innocently, all his teeth white and shiny. Eventually I grinned as well. "Let's throw them off the root!"

What can a responsible big brother say to that?

"Sure!"

# # #

"One, two, three!" I shouted jumping on the flat part of the roof tumultuously. On three Paul started swinging around on his axis then threw the fruit like a discus. I stepped closer to him and we watched together as the watermelon flew high above the verdant pastures.

It flew a good ten seconds, becoming a green patch far away, before it smashed into the ground and fell apart. Cookie, one of the donkeys we had, perked up his head and flung up the heels and ran around the fold, freaked out. His baying didn't disturb the peaceful and calm aura around Daisy, his pair. She looked up lazily chewing on some grass but soon returned all her attention to eating after she made sure nothing was threatening. She was right – Paul carefully avoided the pastures where the horses and other animals were.

"Geez!" I cheered and gave a two-handed high five to Paul who looked quite pleased with himself as well. "That was at least what, a hundred and eighty feet? You should totally be a hammer thrower! How cool would I be if my brother would win at the Olympics?"

"You're cool anyway, I mean, I am _me_ ," he grinned smugly and bent down to pick up the second melon. "You wanna try it?"

"Hell, yeah!" My eyes were shining like a child's at Christmas morning. I took the watermelon form him. It was heavier than I expected but I successfully kept my balance. My arms were still hanging low and even my back arched under the weight but I made up my mind. I will kill this melon!

I lubberly paddled closer to the edge, carefully staying in safe distance from the rim.

"C'mon, Jinx!" Paul cheered and clapped reassuringly. I spun around and was about to throw the watermelon when I heard a yell.

"Blow me tight!"

Mom's voice distracted me and I lost the élan when I attempted to stop. Nevertheless, the centripetal force kept the melon moving so I nearly tripped. Worried gasp came from below us as I fortunately prevented falling down by letting the melon fall. It banged into the staircase, spreading soggy, crumbling pinky red pulp-hodgepodge and hard, dark green peel pieces all over the entrance.

"Crap!" I mumbled as I slowly tore my gaze away from the shreds and looked at Mom. She looked worried at first then angry, which didn't augur well.

"You've wasted a good watermelon," Paul sighed as we clambered inside the house through the window in my room.

"You told me she went off!" I hissed, upset.

He shrugged. "She did… four hours ago."

I gaped at his careless answer and as we ran down the stairs I flicked his nape as a childish revenge but my hand turned out to be sore. He had one thick skull.

When we reached the ground floor Mom was already there stamping her foot in an annoyed way. Her face was pale what I took as a sign of worry which made things slightly better – if she was worried about us she might not want to kill us.

"Have you completely lost your mind?!" she ripped into us as soon as she saw us. "What were you thinking?"

"Mom, believe me, it wasn't as dangerous as it seemed to be," I stepped closer to her with my hands raised as a shield.

"Yeah, Molly, it's no big deal," Paul adjoined. "It's not like we did it for the first time!"

I sent him a 'you're so dead' glance.

"So that's how my Halloween pumpkins ended up?" Mom asked. Paul shook his head.

"Nah. They were shot to pieces with a shotgun." Paul certainly did not see my glare. _Or more likely he's not afraid of you._ But he was kind of afraid of my mom so when he saw the grim fury heating up her face like a volcano with eruption round the corner, he added: "By some hillbilly. Yeah, a hillbilly shot them, not us. Totally."

Mom wanted to answer but changed her mind and asked, "And I assume neither of you is willing to dump on the other?"

"It was his fault!" I yelled and pointed at Paul.

"It was her fault!" Paul bawled at the same time and pointed at me. I turned towards him so promptly my ponytail slapped him in the face. On could hardly believe how bad it stung until they were slapped as well. He gave me a displeased look and stroked his tingling cheek but I didn't care.

"What do you mean it was my fault?" I asked and crossed my hands beneath my bosom.

"You suggested throwing them off the roof."

"You wanted to smash them with a hammer!"

"But I didn't!"

"And I was the one forcing you to come with me, right? Using pure physical and mental force?"

"… I live in terror."

I wanted to argue, grimace and laugh at the same time. The simplicity behind our sibling-relationship fascinated me sometimes. You hear a lot about big brothers (by blood or parents' marriage, doesn't matter) being a jerk or a guardian-figure towards their little sister. Most of them either worry too much about them or care not at all. I was kind of happy (and proud) to have him as a brother, him who had sense of humor, gleefully got into trouble, mocked me and let me mock back. I truly enjoyed it, even in the moments kind of serious like this.

Mom was about to say something when we heard footsteps coming closer through the gravelly walkway, gave a little 'huh?' sound when he reached the watermelon-cemetery and finally gradually step into the house through the door left ajar by mom. It was Seth. He nearly tripped at the threshold because he wasn't watching where he stepped, rather looked behind his back.

"Hey, Seth!" I smiled at him and he looked at me. His face, though always containing a suffocating amount of happiness and gentleness, softened. It was something I was getting accustomed to and found cute. On the other hand, what part of him _wasn't_ cute? _His abs_ , my pervert inner self answered, _they're smokin'_. I rolled my eyes mentally _. I shouldn't keep degrading him as a piece of meat even if he's a rather sexy meat!_

"Hiya, Jass!" he waved, his tone overjoyed. "Hi, Paul, and good afternoon, Mrs. Lahote!"

"Howdy, dear!" Mom's earlier anger-seasoned worry was practically blew away and an endearing smile hovered over her lips.

"'sup, man?" Paul nodded dude-ly with his arms crossed in front of his chest. He'd only have had to snuff once for the full gangsta image. Oh men and their manly manliness.

"Oh, yeah, mom," I woke up from the deprecating head-shake dedicated to Paul, "Seth decided to take physics as well so I invited him over to help him catch up. I forgot to ask you but I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not," she assured. She seemed to completely forgot the whole melon-roof-incident for which I was grateful. Mom was a sweet, people-loving personality generally but a little evil part of me suggested that maybe part of the reason she was so happy was Seth being Harry's and Sue's son. Harry was an Elder, and after he died I heard Sue took over his position. Remember, tribal council. "You're always welcome, Seth."

"Thank you, Mrs. Lahote." I doubt anyone could possibly stand the amount of sweetness, pureness and kindness Seth managed to densify in a single, polite smile. I would've hated him had he not been so un-dislikeable.

"Are you hungry? You look so thin…"

"Mom!" I whined as two tiny pale pink patches appeared on my cheeks. According to her everyone was thing; that was her fixa idea. Anyone I'd invite over was implacably and inevitably fed by her. Not that they'd have squawked – Mom was a great cook but I still felt embarrassed. I guess it was a teen thing.

"What? Don't you think he looks thin?"

"I bet she's use another adjective," Paul grinned sardonically. Even my death glare couldn't make it disappear.

"I forgot to shop!" Mom squeaked on a sudden. "I have to go and…"

"Mom, it's okay, we can order pizza," I suggested but she seemed to hear no one except for herself.

"I have to go and shop so I can make some proper food and some cookies…"

"Don't trouble about it, Mrs. Lahote!" Seth tried to calm her down. It had no effect on her of course, but it scored another good point for him. Not that he had any bad points.

"It's no trouble, dear!" Mom silenced him with a wave of her hand, picked up her handbag and rushed out. "I'll be back in two hours!"

"But…"

"Be good!" She stepped over the remains of the watermelon, got into her car and drove off, leaning us there just like that. I guess she really wanted to amuse Seth so she might say some good words of her to his mother. I found it rather unnecessarily as I've met with Sue Clearwater a few times in the past nine years and she seemed like a really nice, kind woman, sort of like my mother. I had absolutely no idea why Mom wouldn't go and try to chat with her simply rather than behave strategically.

"Why is there a blown-up watermelon on the stairs?" Seth asked finally, pointing outside with his thumb.

"They're not blown-up," Paul corrected him. "We threw them off the roof."

Seth's eyes widened. "You were on the roof?!" His voice jumped up nearly an octave and sounded even more worried than mom's. I was almost fully sure his worry was dedicated to me, not Paul, which flattered my vanity.

"Yeah," I smiled a self-satisfied smile at him, "but the blowing-up thing sounds pretty cool, too!"

"You know we have a spare watermelon…" Paul wiggled his eyebrows. I suppressed a privy grin.

"You think you could get some firecrackers?"

"You don't know until you try." With that said he stretched, getting ready to do his mission and leisurely walked out. I thought he was going towards his car but in the last minute he changed his heading and started to walk into the woods. He yelled back, "Don't do anything I wouldn't!"

And he left us as well. I was starting to feel like I was being abandoned all the time by Paul. It bugged me, to be honest. Where the hell would he find firecrackers in the woods?!

"Funniest part is, the only thing he would never do is solving physics problems," Seth joked idly.

"Right," I laughed honestly and looked up at him. I took a sole second to admire his dark eyes; my new metaphor was it looked like clumsily whirling hot chocolate. I really had to stop looking straight into them or one day I will be completely lost and become senseless like a brain-dead. I cleared my throat awkwardly blushing and moved toward the first floor. "Lily and Rose will be home soon so I think we should just go straight into my room, good?"

"Good," he nodded. I swear I heard a 'yes, I did it' overtone but decided not to care.

I felt a nervous knot forming in my stomach as I hurried upstairs which I could not explain. Was it because all his interest felt still strange to me? It kind of did but that just wasn't it. Was it because I found him handsome or because I never had a boy (even Tuck) in my room before? A little bit of it, a little bit of that. But I think the most disturbing thing for me was the fact that it all happened after nine years – for nine years we've been classmates, for nine years we've said 'hi' everyday and for nine years that was it. And after nine years Seth Clearwater all of a sudden changed a lot, took an interest in me, we started to hang out and he was about to step into my room. It was a progress I guess but the fact it- no, _he_ made me week-in-the-knees bothered me.

I wasn't saying there were butterflies in my stomach and all that kind of stuff, I wasn't in love but there was something going beyond the state of acquaintances or friends of that matter. But I did feel that tug pulling me towards him – I was starting to fall for him, I knew it, and it took all of my willpower not to do that.

It was… wrong. He was my brother's friend, I was an awkward girl, and I had no idea what to do with a boy in a romantic way, let alone a boyfriend. I realized how stupid I was when I asked Paul if he thinks I'm ready to date – even I didn't think I was ready! I mean first of all how do girls get boyfriends? They make them in their basement? How do you know if you fancy each other? I guess a boy has to ask a girl out on a date. What happens there? You sit in a café and talk about your lives? I bet it's boring. And what happens after? In the movies the guy walks the girl home and there they kiss on the veranda with the girl's father looking through the windows. How do you know if you're dating? The kiss is a silent 'will you be my girlfriend' 'yes, I will'? And it's only the beginning – what do you do with your boyfriend once you got him? You just let him stand in the corner, hug him occasionally and make sure he gets enough sunlight so he can grow big? What does a boyfriend eat? I hope he eats pizza because I can't cook.

 _Slow down, Jass_ , I reminded myself. _He's here to learn physics not to ask you to marry him._

That was right. I put too much imagination into the situation.

"So welcome in my la la land," I said as I opened the door of my room. I wanted to let him go inside first but he made a gesture 'you first'. Politeness? Nice.

"I see you really like videogames," Seth grinned approvingly as he eyed the posters on my walls. I bought all of them on eBay, and I was happy he seemed to like them. Of course, most of the boys liked videogames but what I saw on Seth's face was appreciation _towards_ me, not the games.

"They are my one true love," I answered with a shrug. Hearing that, he looked at me swiftly, sadness flashing up in his eyes for such a short time I thought I've just imagined that. Then he stepped closer to my bed, and inhaled. I guess he tried to be soundless but almost like on accident he took a really deep breath and I found it creepy. I grimaced, my nose wrinkled; is he sniffing for my scent? No, that couldn't be – after a while one's room starts to smell like the owner, perfume, sweat and the very core-fragrance of the owner was drank in by the walls and furniture I guess. I never smelled myself before but whenever I went to Kayla's, her room smelled like her – flowers, freshness and pursuit of world domination. Sometimes I wondered what my scent was like but I couldn't just ask that from Seth, now, could I?

Whatever he smelled, he was satisfied by it at least that was what I've read from his merry, dreamy smile which soon faded when he flashed a glance at my wall, the Closed Door. His features became stiff, something I doubted they could do. He turned completely toward the wall and marched in front of it, his gaze never leaving the affixed papers. It seemed almost as unbreakable as when he was staring at me – I was starting to feel jealous. He was my stalker, after all.

"What's this?" he asked quietly. His irises were moving bewilderingly fast, jumping from one article to another, not even properly reading them but rather sucking in words and their sight.

"Oh," I moaned in embarrassment and rushed to hide them. I tried to pretend to straighten a curled edge and fix a tape to smoothly stick to the wall but it was rather obvious. "It's just a silly thing I do… You remember those tales we were told? About spirit warriors?"

He winced. I couldn't decide if in disgust or shock but part of me felt like in fear. In fear of what I didn't know.

"Yeah." His voice was hoarse and weak. I raised an eyebrow at that but mentioned nothing.

"Well, I kinda like them, and I… You will laugh at me," I tucked a wandered curl of my side-bangs behind my ear. I looked at anything and everything but Seth. _He will laugh at me; I would if I'd be him._

"I would never do that," he said, sounding kind of offended by my suggestion. I glanced at him a sidelong glance; his eyes were shining with empathy. I took a deep breath.

"I think that they're true," I heaved a euphoric sigh of relief. It seemed so easy now that I had said it, the weight on my chest felt like vanished. Seth was looking at me puzzled so I tried to explain. "I'm sure you know most of the legends do have some truth they're based on but they are masked by centuries of gossip, tale telling, refinement and folklore. Let's take Noah's Ark: I don't want to launch a debate over religion but the main motif, the big flood can be found in every single religion apart from Christianity and Judaism.  
The flood myth has many-many forms; in the Sumerian version, Ziusudra, who was warned from the gods' plan to destroy mankind with a great flood by Enki, the lord of the underworld sea of fresh water, built a vessel to survive. In the Neo-Assyrian Epic of Gilgamesh, Utnapishtim was warned by the same plan by Ea, who is the Assyrian equivalent of Enki, and loaded all the living beings he had around to save their lives. In Hindu mythology, there's Manu, in Plato's Timaeus there's Timaeus. The Indigenous Australians had the tale of Tiddalik, the Frog, who was so thirsty he drank all the water of the world, and after living beings started dying because of lack of moisture, Nabunum, an eel, made Tiddalik laugh so hard all of the water rushed out of him. The Chinese named one of their emperors, Yao from the Xia dynasty 'Yao the Great' because he ended the Great Flood which lasted for two generations.  
We have closer examples as well – the Hopi's have this myth about their emergence to the Fourth World where they live now. They say Tawa, the Sun Spirit and their creator was not satisfied with them in any of the earlier three worlds because they became disobedient and lived contrary to his plans so the obedient ones were led to a higher world and Tawa destroyed the others – the third one was ended with a great flood. I, personally, think that when nearly every single ethnic had their story about something and they had the same base, then it really has happened. I mean there was no phone back then and most of them didn't even know about other continents so they couldn't just 'steal' stories and sell them as theirs. They had to be original, and they had to be _true_. My father says two is an accident, three is coincidence, and four is the truth."

Seth was listening throughout my speech which was found boring by most of the people I knew. The average teenagers didn't want to hear about long dead persons and myths of religions barely knew nowadays. It wasn't a VMA, but Seth was actually listening and what more, I saw curiosity and attendance in his eyes. It made me so happy I wanted to hug him but yeah, I didn't.

"You know your history," he smiled.

"I know my interests."

Seth stepped closer so he stood right beside me and jogged a copy of a page with a big, drawn wolf stepping out of the woods. He eyed me carefully, his breath burned my neck; it gave me tiny little bumps all over my skin, in a rather pleasant way. "And what about spirit warriors? Are there lots of stories about them, too?"

I sighed with a heavy heart. "No, unfortunately we're the only ones who have them and even we know so little about them! I guess our ancestors were really into 'paleface-hating' and they did not say a word to them about their myths but they also forgot to properly teach them to their descendants. I'm afraid most of the stories are lost for forever," I moped quietly as I raised my hand and caressed an old-looking page copy of a late chief's black and white photo made around the middle of the 19th century. He did not look pleased with the fact he was being photographed. I guess he was something like a great-great-great-grandfather of Jacob Black given the fact he is a lineal descendant of chiefs.

Seth put one of his large and warm hands on my shoulder comfortingly. It felt strangely snug and lovely. "I'm sure all is not lost."

"And I will keep hoping but I feel that I've exhausted my resources. That's all that I've found in the past ten years or so: some drawings and few mentions in books and journals of old times. I've tried so hard and look what I have!" I sighed and despondently sauntered to get my school bag. "Sorry, I didn't want to bore you with stuff like this…"

"You're not boring me," Seth shook his head, "I'm rather interested."

"Why, you're a myth-person yourself?"

Seth's face darkened. I guess he just blushed. "No, not really. I mean it's fascinating but I don't know as much about it as you do. I find it interesting because you do."

 _Because of me_ , once again! Seriously, what was the boy's problem with telling the truth? Okay, a part of me knew he was saying the truth (I doubted he could lie without everlasting remorse) but I kept rejecting it.

"Why?" I asked eagerly and while I was searching for my physics textbook I took a glimpse of him every two second or so. He looked like he wasn't very comfortable saying what he really wanted.

"Because I'm your friend and that's what friends do. Take the same interest or at least attempt to do so."

"I really hope your interest includes physics because we should get started," I straightened myself and waved the textbook. He took one last glance at the Closed Door then followed me. I sat down my bed and patted the blanket next to me, encouraging him to do the same since I needed him to be close so I could gesture and draw as well as explain. He plopped down way closer than I expected – he was so close my shoulder touched the side of his chest and he rested his arm behind my back. It was… intimate and humid. He was radiating heat. When the bare skin of my arm came into contact with his, I jumped a bit by instinct.

"What's wrong?" he asked as worry hovered over his features and he put an arm around my shoulders, eyes roaming over me looking for the cause of my jump. "Are you in pain?"

"No!" I shifted sort of uncomfortably under his touch which was frightfully familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. "It's just… You're hot."

Now he was definitely blushing! He blinked rapidly. "What?"

"You're hot."

"… Well, thank you, I guess…"

Finally I got what he misunderstood. "No, I mean, your skin is scorching!"

"Oh." I can't decide if he looked enlightened and confused or simply disappointed but he was surely making the sad puppy face again.

I raised my hand and turned my torso towards him. "May I…?" I asked and when he nodded, I laid my hand against his forehead. His skin was burning but what was I expecting? The heat emanating from him was obviously coming from _him_ , not a tiny radiator hidden under his shirt. I bit my lower lip in worry and frowned. "You have fever!"

"No," he stated quietly and laid hold of my wrist, guiding it away from his head, his long and soft fingers enwreathed it with ease. He did not let go of my hand, and I did not mind it. "It's natural."

"Yeah, for a grilled chicken," I retorted sarcastically.

"Wolves have higher body temperature as well," he smiled.

"But you're not a wolf. You're human."

"You never know," he grinned mockingly which made me roll my eyes. I took the textbook and put it in my lap then opened it, using only one hand. The other, well, it was busy swimming in the ocean of pure pleasure and happiness as Seth's own hand wrapped it in his heat.

Seth stayed for more than an hour and a half and we really did spend it with learning physics. My conjecture was right, he had like no idea about what physics was about but he tried to cover it with his gentle smiles and mesmerizing eyes. True, he was really trying and he turned out to be not only a good listener but a fast and interested learner as well. By the time we decided we had enough he was a pro at electrical physics which was the curriculum of 8th grade. I think it was a pretty nice achievement, counting his complete lack of physics before.

I got so accustomed to his heat that after he went home my room felt like ice cave. I had that fuzzy-fluffy feeling in my chest which made me feel like walking high above the ground – maybe that's what we call a crush? When I thought of Seth my heart started pounding in my chest fast and unstoppably and a dreamy 'I'm about to drool and flow away' smile appeared on my lips as I recalled the memory of him pressing against me with his nicely muscular arm thrown over my shoulders. Even his profile was beautiful and have I mentioned his eyelashes? They were the envy of pretty much any girls. He was handsome and beautiful in all his gangly, warm being.

I was pretty sure I had a crush on Seth. Clearwater.


	6. Something Ancient

Seth has become a determinative person for my daily routine as he slowly started to come over every day. Aside from how he made my blood boil and my hormones go crazy with teenage desire I really started to like him. I've always seen him as a sweet, polite boy with his convivial attitude which sometimes confused me but now I've got to see his personality in depth.

He wasn't only kind but smart as well and he truly paid attention to what I said. I've never seen someone as interested and attentive as him especially when it came to physics. He wasn't afraid to ask and admit when he did not understand something.

At first I found it slightly hard to concentrate since he was always watching me but I got braver with time and looked him straight in the eye when talking for more than two seconds. He seemed to like it.

He also enjoyed physical contact: he always sat close to me, his firm and lean body pressing to mine, making all my nerves tingle in pure enjoyment. Also, whenever he wanted to show me something he used touches instead of words. For example, he laid his warm, gentle hands on my shoulders or reached for my hand and guided it to the right graph. Every time he did so it made me feel a bit more at ease until one day I simply realized it became completely normal. In fact, I _craved_ his closeness and touches.

Speaking of touches, my dreams have become… Naughty, sometimes. Naughtier than I would admit, to the point I'm too ashamed to speak or write about them. I daydreamed a lot, too, and it was twice as embarrassing when the main object of my dreams and cause of my new coming sexual frustration sat right ahead of me in biology. Seth was starting to haunt me but he was a downright welcomed ghost.

My friends, on the other hand, wasn't so pleased with it.

"Finally!" Tuck nearly fell through the door of the main entrance of the school at the end of the day. "The weekend's here! I was looking forward for this since…"

"Since the morning of Monday?" I suggested with a mocking smile.

"No," Grace shook her head, "since last Friday."

"What are we doing tonight?" Kayla asked as she checked her makeup in her small pocket mirror.

"Well, we could play…"

"We're not playing Monopoly, Tuck!" I chipped in before he could've continued. He pouted his lips and frowned out of childish huff.

"Why not?"

"Because," Grace accounted," whenever we play Monopoly it always ends with me dropping out in the first five minutes, Jass crying over her lost house and you laughing diabolically with Kayla planning your murder in the corner."

"I don't 'cry'," I said, drawing quotation marks into the air. "I only mourn over the ephemeral existence of the fruits of the earth."

"But I…"

"Give it up, Tuck," Grace put the extinguisher on him. "We outnumber you."

Tuck sighed, laughing on the wrong side of the mouth. "Okey-dokey."

"What about going to the cinema?" Kayla offered. "There's that new Lindsay Lohan movie!"

"But I don't want to watch that!" Tuck complained childishly.

Kayla shrugged carelessly. "Okay, let's decide on a division. Who wants to watch it?" Grace and she both raised their hands in union. "Settled, then."

"That's just not fair!" Tuck grizzled then turned towards me. "Jass, you didn't raise your hand. You don't want to watch it, either, right?"

He looked at me with so much hope in his eyes it would've broke the ice-cold wall of insensitivity built around the meanest person in the worlds but I simply couldn't take sides with him. "I'm sorry, Tuck…"

"Oh, man, c'mon!"

"…but I'm not going at all so I shouldn't vote on anything." My statement was followed by stricken looks from all three of my friends.

"What do you mean by 'not going'?" Kayla asked. "You want to stay at home? We can have a movie night at yours as well. Paul can come, too, if he wants." Grace gave a pitiful snorting sound.

"No, I would like to go with you! It's just… Seth's coming over and I can't…"

" _Seth._ Right." I guess I wasn't wrong when I felt a scant of reproof in Grace's voice. I tugged at the zipper of my warm, wadded hoodie in discomfort.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't be such a killjoy, Gracie!" Kayla adjured Grace who simply growled. "Our Jassy is in love, like, up to the eyes. I think we should root for her, not made her feel bad about choosing an adventure of her youth over watching a movie."

"'Adventure of youth'? We're not dating, Kay!" I rolled my eyes. "I'm tutoring him. It's all about physics."

"Hell, no, it's all about chemistry!" she laughed, eyes sparkling with rave. "You obviously have that special kind of chemistry between you two! Plus, you're 'studying' within closed doors, just the two of you in the dark, a cheesy country song from Nickelback playing in the background…"

"'In the dark'? You really study like that? No wonder you're failing math," Grace remarked acrimoniously.

Kayla whisked in a devil-may-care way. "Whatever. Point is: it's romantic. No one can stand it without falling in mad love."

"Why do I only have girls as my friends?" Tuck poetized but I guess it was also rhetorical so I did not answer.

"I'm sorry to burst your bubble but we don't do that stuff." _No, he only always half-hugs me and leans so close I can see every of his dark lashes perfectly._ "Besides, we're going to the police station."

"It's your father's turn, then?2 Grace asked with a knowing gleam in her golden brown eyes. I nodded. Since my parents got divorced I spent every second weekend and Wednesday-Thursday with my father – at least officially I did so. But cine he was working a lot and we lived close to each other as well, he usually phones to tell me to stay at home and he'll call when he's done with paperwork. In most cases, the call never arrived. However, now he decided to 'spend substantive time' with me so he said I should go to the PD and we'll go home together. When I told him I'm supposed to help Seth he hesitated a bit but soon allowed him to come as well.

Tuck narrowed his eyes. "Where are you going to study there? In the cells or on a bunch next to a car thief caught red-handed?"

"In the interrogating room."

"Cuffs, chains and a table fixed to the ground?" Kayla's eyes kindled. "'s getting better and better."

"You're ruined," I sighed, shaking my head disapprovingly. "And filthy. Like an unhealthy amount. Seriously, you shouldn't be allowed to go near any kid! I'll teach Tyler to shun you like the plague."

Kayla alighted on Seth's and my secret, absolutely (and sadly) nonexistent relationship. It was starting to get weird and scary with her questions so inappropriate I blushed down to my toes but I auspiciously gainsaid all along. I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders when we said our goodbyes at the parking lot only to have another, a heavier and tenacious one squeeze my chest almost painfully. Since I woke up I felt this call, an invisible hand inviting me to, I don't know, somewhere.

At first I thought that the heavy, dreadful alertness was caused by the conscience of my upcoming visit to Dad. The feeling increased every passing moment that was for sure. But it also seemed to intensify as I walked closer and closer to the forest.

I wanted to go along the surfaced road leading to the station from the school. It was a quiet, peaceful road, rarely used by cars other than patrolling police cars, surrounded by the woods of La Push on both sides. Other times it gave me a fifteen-minutes-walk when I would listen to music or simply think with the fluffy fleeces of clouds passing over the trees, sight of it filtering through the top branches. Now, with that awful, qualm-ish feeling rushing through my veins I just wanted it to be over. The trees of the old world, planted afore the 'civilization' and evangelism, coped over me like incomprehensible, dark phantasms.

I was jumpy, all the sounds and noises made me flip around like a crack-pot. The obstreperous hand of the relatively modern world did not reach there; still, the forest was full of din – birds caroling, animals cracking branches, the breeze rattling the leaves. It was usual, I was used to it, and so was everyone else. Yet, what I heard now was unnatural. Maybe it wasn't the right word: it was so _natural_ it felt _unfamiliar_.

It sounded almost like people calling me from distant; the clear and yet-so-quiet whisper-like chanting surrounded me whatever way I turned. The words were known by me, old and nearly forgotten, it sounded like Quileute and though I couldn't figure out the exact message of the delicate, high-toned voices, I _felt it_ in my bones.

Something ancient was calling me, odd as it sounds.

The fright was dulled by curiosity as I stepped off the road and let my boots sink into the smooth surface composed of fallen leaves, moss and lichen. My steps were insecure at first but that tight grip on my chest urged me on and without me realizing it, I was deep into the woods.

The call became unbearably strong as I reached a small but recondite valley with acute angled parts.

"Jass, you're an idiot," I said, letting the little Grace in my head say what she thought loudly. I, on the other hand, found the unfamiliar quite _thrilling_. I choose a broadly clear, path-like line leading down to the deeper level and took a slow step forward, my foot laying flat on the angled ground. I got hold on branches and logs as I moved lower and lower, trying to keep a steady but safe pace. Unfortunately the surface lying beneath the dead fallen leaves was slippery mud. I lost my foothold and after falling to my butt I slipped down around sixteen feet until I reached the bottom.

Upon the sudden contact and stop, I landed on my knees and even my side bag slapped me on my nape. I sharply inhaled through gritted teeth as I stood up, my knees, head and hindquarters throbbing in hollow pain. My jeans got badly wrenched at my left knee and right beneath my buttock on my right thigh. _Just great!,_ I rolled my eyes and wiped at the large mud-spots but I gave up as soon as I took a glance of where I landed.

Right across my landing point was a dark, hauntingly tempting whole in the hillside.

I felt the invisible hand letting go of my chest, giving me opportunity to close my eyes and inhale deeply. The earthy, fresh, slightly camphory and resinous scent of the pristine cedar forest filled my nostrils pleasantly, calming my nerves. After a few more breaths I opened my eyes and looked around.

There was nothing taller than grass growing inside the dale, the edges of it, however, were filled with trees standing high, towering above me like timeworn guardians of the forest and what laid under the leafy dome. Spears of warm spring-light seeped through the emerald green leaves, making my earlier fear laughable.

I felt like I was supposed to be here.

Clacking boughs and rustling leaves made me jerk my head up only to tumble in lingering jitteriness as a jet black raven burst out of the shady roof and glided above me, screeching. It settled on a thick, antler-shaped branch and watched with its head tilted to the side as I slowly stood up, once again mopping some dirt off my clothes.

"You've come to watch the show?" I asked aloud and grumblingly. The raven flapped with its wings aggressively and gave out a hoarse caw. The sharp sound hurt my ears. I rolled my eyes as I tried to calm down my heart which was roaming like a machine about to blow up. That would've been highly irksome.

I turned around to face the hole instead. The freshly green grass deadened the sound of my steps as I deliberately approached the vent. I felt adrenaline rushing through my veins and an ablaze shiver running down my spine, making all my nerves jump longingly. I heard my heart's pulsation in my ears getting louder with every step until I stopped and listened. There were snapping sounds of twigs being crushed outside the little valley and they were getting louder very fast. Then I could also catch quick glimpses of what I believed were caught sights of clothes right on the edge of the dale and soon I heard noises made by someone sliding downwards.

I was about to let my instinct take over thus turn heels and run but suddenly I felt a instantaneous wave of phantasmal gas writhing around me, gently and sensuously like when the ocean strokes the shore. In that moment I've been awash by tender poise. The raven ruffled its ebony feathers and cawed, the harsh tone sounding unnaturally warm – it was almost like he was saying 'no need freakin' out, dude' or something like that.

"Jass!" Seth's voice made my heart beat faster, this time with sweet buzz. He was slipping and jumping his way down the part and unlike me, he did it without falling hard and miserably – in fact, he seemed to be quite confident in his movements. He jumped to the bottom of the valley so heavily I actually felt the ground shake a bit. _Or maybe I was starting to get hallucinations._ That was one believable explanation.

"Seth?" I cooed unintentionally as my face blushed rosy pink. I frowned in chagrin – I really did not want to refer to Disney movies but I did feel like a princess being saved by a prince. A rich, honeyed chocolate-eyed prince who apparently had to sell all his clothing due financial reasons in order to save his kingdom because Seth didn't wear anything else but knee-length sandy colored shorts. Which was nice, by the way, I mean, I've said a few times how I adore his whole topless being but it was distracting as hell.

"Finally found you!" Seth said as he hurried to me with a big smile on his face which soon turned around seeing my messed-up look. "What happened to you?"

"I fell. And slipped. And tumbled… But I'm okay!" I added hastily as his face distorted into a worried grimace. "What are you doing here, by the way?"

"What am _I_ doing here?" he repeated, his voice keyed up and raspy, something I didn't hear from him before. "I've called you at least a thousand times but it said you're not accessible! I even went to the police station but your father says you weren't there…"

"You're a bit overreacting, now, aren't you?" I asked with a jocund smile curling up the edges of my lips. "I just left the school, like, ten minutes ago."

Seth's sweet puppy face was furrowed by wrinkles of tension, pity and concern. "No, Jass, you were completely lost for two hours."

The information slowly crept through the cracks of the ignorance-wall surrounding my mind and in proportion my mouth hung faintly open. It couldn't… "Two hours?"

"Yeah."

No. There was no way I could've been in the forest for two hours. It didn't even feel like five minutes! How was that possible? Maybe I haven't only tumbled but also hit my head and lost consciousness? Maybe I've been in and out the whole time? I instinctively reached for my head and fumbled where it throbbed dully. Sure, it hurt when I was poking it but there was no blood, no other clue of serious injury.

I had no fucking idea what happened.

I took out my phone hurriedly and looked at the little lines standing for signal strength – there was none of them. "How did you find me?"

"I followed your scent," he said straightaway, supposedly not giving enough time for his brain to catch up with his mouth because as soon as he said it, he tensed and looked at me with his eyes widened in dread.

I looked up at him slowly. "My _what_?"

"Your path!" he yelled louder than necessary and also fast like greased lightning, then cleaned his throat and tried to cover his horrified grimace with confidence whipped out from his ass. "I followed your path."

I wasn't stupid and I heard clearly for the first time – he said scent. The image of him sniffing the air right above my bed few days prior popped up in my mind along with an old drawing he was looking at: a giant wolf coming out from the darkness, big enough to be a bear. The mere thought was stupid but again didn't we have brain to think, even if about stupid things? A scent, a wolf, a tale… The words starting to leisurely twirl around my mind until it became a complete tornado, sucking me in with such force I could not breathe, and tossed me right into the dust of mayhem.

My breathing became shallow as the soft whispering voices sung again. I still didn't know what they were saying but I did know the message.

_Come._

I looked at the hole, standing somewhat proudly in its place. Dark, eerie and yet it did not frighten me, in fact, it seemed inviting and smelled of adventure. I took a step toward it but Seth grabbed my upper arm.

"What are you doing, Jass?"

"I'm going to see what's inside, obviously," I shrugged as I tried to pull away my hand. I did not succeed. "Seth, let go of me."

"No!" he called out, the sound coming from deep within his chest, almost like a growl. Well that was frightening. Slenderman? Screw you, I just learned Seth Clearwater can be demanding! Okay, he didn't command me to be his sex slave (sadly) and I guess he was just worried but still, I haven't heard him yell before.

"Why not?" I asked childishly.

"Because it might as well be a cave of a bear or something!"

I looked at the hole than back at Seth in an 'are you for real' way. "Yeah, good luck with squeezing a bear through that hole. C'mon, Seth!" I stamped my foot indignantly. "We live in a reservation, and people find old Indian stuff whenever they dig a hole for a flowerbed! Let me be the one finding something old and useless! Please."

My lastly added 'please' has done its job – Seth's strict features faded into a repentant puppy face. "You think it's a legacy of our forefathers?"

 _Wow, someone has poetry running in his veins_. "Yeah. There was a lot of mudslide lately, plus it's a low-lying area and there's been a lot of rain, maybe the accumulated water undermined the terra."

He frowned, sinking deep into his thought before looking back at me, caring and solicitous cocoa-colored eyes melting my whole being into a bubbling, jumbled dollop. He eased his gasp. "What do you think it is?"

"That's what I'm trying to find out," I smiled at him soothingly and let my arm slid out of his hand only to take a hold of it with mine and enlace our fingers.

Had my hand be able to speak it'd bless my whole family for returning the sweet warmness entwining it. Seth looked at me like I put the stars in the sky – good to know I wasn't the only one pleased with touching (and hopefully he could hardly stand keeping a 'dewey-eyed' expression, too). I yanked at his hand faintly.

"Come on, Seth, let's find some old stuff. Don't be afraid of the eerie dark, I'll hold your hand," I winked at him playfully, making his face turn into an embarrassing reddish hue. I was kinda proud I made him blush that much it was only fair to return the amount he made me flush to the color of scarlet.

"I just don't want you to get hurt," he mumbled but willingly got going at the same time I did.

I throw my side bag to the ground, not letting go of Seth's hand even for a second, and dredged my little flashlight. I turned it on when we were around seven feet far from the opening. The blue-ish artificial light illuminated a small patch of area but by the look of it, it was something like a wall.

"Are you sure it's safe?" Seth asked, suspiciously eyeing the darkness. He found it no more pleasing than visiting a graveyard at night, black shadows hanging over the groves and all that stuff, I knew it. I felt, however, that something deep, something ancient was calling me with its haunting ballad, and I had no intention to resist.

"I promise you I won't break it down on us." That was the best I could come up with since I didn't want to lie to him with saying 'sure, it's safer than a Swiss bank'.

After I hunkered down right in front of the entrance and lighted every corner of the crave-like building with the dim light of the flashlight, I was positive there was neither bear nor any other animal inside. I gave the light to Seth and after turning to my stomach I slowly lowered my body inside the cave, Seth following right behind me.

The cave, crypt, or whatever it was supposed to be, was utterly quiet not even the forest's small noises crept inside; the only thing breaking the sepulchral silence was our breathing. It felt almost like the inside of those great, gothic cathedrals, where every tone was hushed and the silent words of ancient times rushed through every people's body. It was also slightly colder than outside, probably because of the tons of soil weighing above us.

I couldn't really decide whether it was a natural structure or made by people but the walls were made from limestone and the shape of the ceiling was nearly vaulted. I was sure that the dark, black, brown and red paintings on the walls, showing figures and symbols and animals, were made by our ancestors.

"What the hell is this?" Seth murmured into my ear in a very low tone, almost as if he was afraid of hurting the spirits of the place deeply with normal speaking. Had I been not so immersed in sucking in the sight of the complex and yet so simple designs of separate pictures, I'd have been shivering enjoyably with Seth being so close to me, every warm exhale of his tickling the feathery hair on my neck.

To be honest, I had no idea where we were. "Maybe a… shaman cave?" I said, clueless.

"Were there things like that?" he asked.

"I don't know," I confessed, defeated. "I thought our shamans' spiritual places were located on the James Island but maybe there were some others as well."

I stepped closer to the wall, directing the light at a painting showing some kind of bird and wolves standing around people matching in size. I didn't really pay attention where I was stepping but it seemed as I was lucky – when Seth followed me, he stepped on a pottery-fragrance and only when we looked down had we realized how many of potsherd and land-lump covered the ground. I was about to look back at the painting when I caught the glimpse of a wooden carving lying below a cracked patella and a great amount of dust. I crouched down to have a better look at that – it was small and laced on a leather strand. It was a necklace and what I saw as wood was, in fact, a teeth. A sharp, triangle-shaped teeth, almost like of a wolf or a bear but bigger.

"Do you think they might be bones?" I asked Seth, pointing at the tiny, yellowed but still somewhat ivory colored things lining up on both sides of the teeth.

"I dunno," he mumbled but I didn't really wait for his answer and reached out for the medallion.

The moment my skin made contact with the necklace, celestial like light-lances burst out of it, chasing and banishing all the gloom, all the mist and shadows where they once stalked. A flash, a gripping seize and a misty contoured figure stepping out of the aureate gleaming and hold out their hand toward me with a reassuring smile before I fell into unconscious darkness.

# # #

When I woke up I was in my room. My eyelids felt like weights of lead were put on them but I forced them to open.

"Oi, she's finally waking up!"

At first the outlines were blurred, all I saw was leached color-spots but my sight started to get clear and slowly I could recognize two figures. Seth was sitting on the ground right next to my sight, his scorching heat covering my whole left arm while Paul was seated on my chair which was pulled to the end of my bed and he leaned on the footboard with his elbows. They both looked relieved in their own way – Seth sweetly and Paul smugly.

"You're sitting on my spot, Paul," I mumbled after closing my eyes, slipping back to the lingering effect of dreamland for a last second. I heard Paul chuckling which made me smile and I looked up again. "How did I get here?"

"Your knight in shining armor carried you here," Paul grinned widely as Seth turned away, his cheeks darkening with flush of embarrassment and he mumbled something like 'shut up'. "You kids probably shouldn't play around caves."

The term 'cave' made my brain do a playback of what happened and I sat up in a flash, making my head throb dully by the sudden angle-change. "The cave!"

"You should lay back, or you might get nausea, you've hit your head badly," Seth tried to push me back to the plushy embrace of the pillows with his voice sweet and calming as ever but I had no such intentions.

"Seth!" I snapped at him, slapping his pressing hand away. "What the fuck happened there?! That gleam? That whatshisname stepping out of the golden stuff? It was awesome but _what the hell?!"_

The sudden memories made my blood practically flee in my veins and my whole body itching to go back and _do something_. I was hyperaware all of a sudden, all the lines crystal clear and mind sharper than ever. I looked at the Closed Door and smiled triumphantly. I _knew_ that whatever happened had something to do with our legends, with my most beloved hobby.

"Jass, calm down, please," Seth almost pleaded as he placed both of his hands on my shoulders. His touch did calm my nerves a bit but didn't chase the crave to act away. "Mom's been here and she said that the cave might've contained some toxicant gas in its air which your body couldn't handle and so you passed out. She also said that it could've caused… Hallucinations."

I narrowed my eyes. "I wasn't hallucinating!" I said as I crossed my arms below my breasts. Seth looked quite lost with his mouth open ready to say something but he couldn't so he looked at Paul for help but he just shrugged. Seth sighed with a heavy heart and reached into his pocket to take out something – the necklace. I looked at it almost as if mesmerized.

"Cool, you stole that?" Paul grinned as he eyed the teeth hanging in the air while Seth took hold of the leather strand's top.

"I didn't… 'stole' it," Seth answered with a confused frown, battling with his own conscience. "I just temporally detracted it with no intentions to turn it into material assets but with the intention to give it back. Sooner or later…"

"You've stole the property of the tribe. I'm proud of you," Paul laughed as he patted Seth on the back firmly. Seth rolled his eyes and offered the necklace to me. I looked up at him uncertainly.

"I thought you might wanna take a look," he explained with a shrug and a warm smile which was always a direct hit. I reached my hand toward the grand teeth; my fingers were shaking a bit, getting ready for the show from before to repeat. I was a bit disappointed when nothing happened as I closed my fist around the medallion. _So Seth and Sue were right: I only hallucinated_ , I sighed, defeated and casted down.

Seth saw my sorrow as well and his face saddened at the exact same time like he was feeling what I was. It was a stupid idea but then again, moments before I was convinced I saw a spirit taking form. "It's still pretty cool, though," Seth said, trying to cheer me up. "I've never heard of shaman caves on our lands before. That necklace is groovy as well. Don't you want to take it to Billy Black's? He's an Elder, maybe he could say something about it and the cave as well."

"Sounds good," I shrugged and smiled at him. It was a weak smile of a just-torn-down person but it was a smile nevertheless.

Paul wanted to say something (probably something very rude about teenage love) when we heard a calling whoop coming inside through the open window. Paul stood up and looked out; the setting sun's light coloring his dark russet skin a purplish, orange-ish tone.

"The others are here," he grinned and winked at Seth before crossing my room with three long steps. "C'mon, we have to go. You have a minute to ask what you're dying to ask and come downstairs."

 _What he's dying to ask?_ I looked at Seth, confused, after Paul left.. He seemed to be embarrassed. Again.

"Jasmine, I just wanted to ask if… if…" He sighed before he jabbered: "Would you like to come to Port Angeles with me? After we're done at Billy's, of course. "

I couldn't believer it; was he really asking me out on a date? _Maybe I heard wrong… No, damn, girl, you heard it right! Seth asked me on a date! I_ was muted by awe for a second, my mind still trying to process what I just heard. I meant no refusal with it but Seth took the non-answering as if I had.

"I don't mean as a date, like, you know, you and me, together… Well, I mean, not that I wouldn't like it; cause I would! But it's just not like that…"

As soon as I got over the surprise, a wide, glowing grin crept on my lips, and I suddenly forgot all about the cave. "I would like to go with you, Seth."

He did not hear my voice over his own constant talking. "…like, a date would mean I want something from you but I don't. I mean, I do, but not the way you may think! Though I honestly don't know what you're thinking… I wish I would because it wouldn't be half as awkward as it already is…"

"Seth!"

"… I guess what I want to say, what I _mean_ is that though I like you, a lot, actually I just want to hang out with you without any specific romantic intentions. Like, you know, I'm a boy and you're a girl which would mean that we have to… Have to, you know… But we don't. Unless you want to. Not that I'd assume you would! It's just an option, yeah, a harmless option which I offered to you. "

Though I found embarrassed Seth quite funny and adorable I decided to put an end to his suffering. I laid my palms on his shoulders gently but firmly; his still uncovered skin felt like burning under my touch. He finally shut up and looked straight down at me with big, sweetly chocolate-colored eyes.

"Seth, I want to go with you, even as a date."

The confusion in his look turned into nearly euphoric glee. "Really?!"

He seemed so purely happy I had to laugh. "Yeah, really."

A delighted smile appeared on his face and he ran his fingers through his hair. "Really? You say yes? You said yes… She said yes!" I guess he was muttering the last part to himself, since he jumped up and was looking at his feet with pleasant disbelief. I wanted to say something in order to clam down his nerves but I heard Paul's yell from outside the house.

"C'mon, Seth! Kiss the girl and hurry up!"

I blushed a bit but I managed to pull myself together. Otherwise, Seth would've gotten red in the face as well but he was too deeply tangled in his mind and happiness to care and react.

"I have to go now but I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"Right."

I wouldn't have though it was possible but he smiled an even brighter and wider smile at my confirmation.

"Sooo tomorrow, in the morning it is, then."

He turned around and moved so quickly and absently he head-banged the doorpost so hard I swear the ground shook. I wanted to ask if he was okay but he swiftly shook his head and stepped out to the hallway in a flash.

"Door," he laughed and scraped his head awkwardly while backing.

"Door," I nodded and stood up, not even trying to hide how amusing I found his boyish excitement. I smiled until the point he backed so far he reached the stairs and fell over. For an endless second I saw him falling backwards with his mouth forming a silent 'o' in shock. After the slow-motion like moment the rest of the somersaulting in reverse went quite quickly. When I woke up from the shock he was already sitting at the bottom of the stairs with his legs spread like a kid's in the sandbox.

"Jesus, Seth!" I yelled after I found my voice and ran down, taking the steps by two. I haven't even reached halfway when he jumped up, trying to cover his painful grimace with a foolish grin.

"I'm okay, I'm okay!" he said hastily. His reddened face (caused by embarrassment or the force of falling, I have no idea) disagreed with his statement. I was about to rush over to him when I heard kissing sounds from the doorway.

Paul stood there pursing, leaning on his knees with Jared and Embry Call each leaning against a jamb. They were laughing unveiled, making the blush on Seth's face darken. I was afraid his cerebrospinal fluid might boil and escape as steam through his ears like in the cartoons.

"Falling down the stairs? Really, Seth? You're such a luckbox," Sam, who was the only one standing the urge to laugh (maybe he wasn't even capable of such actions), said sarcastically and went outdoors. I had no idea what they were doing there, anyways.

However, I did know one thing: I was to have a date with Seth.


	7. Chapter 7 - Sorry, What? Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I haven't been updating this story for months. :/ I just had a lot of stuff coming and also lost the Muse but now I'm back! It's going to be a two-part chapter because it'd have been too long for one chapter. Please, don't forget to leave a comment! 
> 
> Warning: this is unbeta'd but I'm looking for a beta.

_I was wholly alone in the middle of a drearily glade, broadly awake and scared to death. I didn't have clear ideas about what may I exactly be scared of but the fear for my safety squeezed my chest painfully. I ran. The weazened, knee-length grass crackled under my hurried steps and bristly weed scratched my bare legs, leaving thin red lines and shrewd pain behind._

_The moon was like a glowing silver-medallion pinned to a black canvas sprinkled with tiny little argent-dots: the stars. The sky was clean, not even a single patch of cloud disturbed the way of the moonbeams, illuminating my path. I saw dark figures in the distance – mountains loomed into the night sky like pristine ramparts. The coarse trees cambered over me balefully, their rustling leaves burbled languid chants._

_It was like a black-and-white movie with luminous whites and sullen black screening over everything in sight._

_Glowing red dots were the only colors – red eyes moving in the dark, gazes hungry and dire._

_Cracks, swishing leaves, rattling sounds from every possible direction made me skitter double-time. The bushes and trees I passed by looked like blurred dark shadows as I didn't give a shit about examining them further. The sounds came from closer and my heart was beating in a dizzying manner, my breaths shallow and hurried. I didn't know since when was I running but given the fact I could barely breath and I was a cross country runner I guessed it was quite a long time._

_Through the jungle of dark canopy I saw golden flames lighting up in the nearby distance around half a mile away. Fire. Fire meant people. People meant safety. Safety meant living. I kind of liked living. I cast myself into the dark, haunting woods in hope of getting to the people earlier. What sign did I have that they weren't the ones after me? Nothing. It was a feeling in my chest that told me whatever was chasing me was not human and even if the people at the fire were Mexican drug smugglers they were far better than my hunters – because it was a hunt. Unfortunately I was the prey hunted at._

_As I ran through the woods the branches standing in my way felt like selfish hands trying to grab me, the tiny twigs scratched my face and arms. I pretended to have blinkers: I only looked straight forward. That was the silliest thing to do as suddenly a thick trunk popped up from the left side, shutting off my way diagonally. I rather heard than realized myself screaming in fright. It was bloodcurdling, hysterical and nightmarish like the ones you hear in horror movies. I broke out to the right only to realize it was a really small hump so I rolled down like a scoop all the way to the bottom helplessly. I felt sharp pain strike my shoulders as I landed on them. The ground seemed like a road-like thing hinted with fluvial pebbles which shone dully in the moonlight. My head was pulsating sorely and all my limbs hurt but I forced myself to stand up and carry on. I couldn't let them get me – I just couldn't._

_As I looked up I took in the sight and I realized I was so close to the fire I actually saw the flames dancing majestically and heard that chanting. I remembered it, every syllable, every word, every tune but now it was clear and strong and here. I doddered closer – I couldn't really run but somehow I didn't feel the need anymore. I just looked at the flames which seemed to entrance me with their comatose and yet so fierce sway. Distant noises caught my attention but I had no idea what they were like when you see something on your periphery: clearly there but smudgy and beclouded._

_When I was around thirty feet away I finally saw the figure belonging to the chanting voice – he sat next to the fire wrapped in animal fur, leather and feathers, (hopefully) animal bones on his clothing and accessories bumped against each other producing clinking noises. He was a shaman. The same shaman I saw when I touched that necklace…_

_The man kept chanting and singing ancient melodies and one could practically feel how he addressed the spirits. As the wood burned on the small pile glowing ashes flew to the sky dancing around the shaman's hands and body, entwining him in a red, orange and yellow spiral before disappearing in the surprisingly indigo colored sky._

_He looked up at me, a familiar warmness in his almond-shaped eyes and tanned skin furrowed with lines of age. He said something in his hoarse voice. Once again I didn't know the exact meaning of the words but somehow I knew he was inviting me to come closer and I did so._

_A loud howl ran across the relatively silent night like a knife through the butter followed by numerous others. Wolves. Noises almost like a giant being chased through the forest were heard._

_I looked at the trees standing tall like sublime wardens of the place. Suddenly realization hit me – I was at the little valley where I found the necklace at. The ground was flatter, though, but somehow I doubted I was in our time despite how strange it sounded._

_A hand was laid on my shoulder and I turned around jumpily to see the shaman standing face to face with me. He smelled like… Nature. He said something in Quileute, fluent and euphonious like Spanish, and took off one of his myriad necklaces then put it in my hand._

_It was the necklace with the big tooth hanging in the middle. I let it fling as I raised it to the air to have a better look at it. I frowned in confusion. What the hell was happening?_

_Suddenly a growl came from behind me. I winced and spun around swiftly. There, wrapping itself out from the shadows of the woods, was a giant wolf, huge enough to be a bear, black as night._

_It was that._

_The wolf from that drawing on my wall._

I felt a sudden shake, and then a voice yelled, "Jasmine!"

I sat up, screaming under the lingering effect of the dream, successfully head butting whoever was trying to wake me up and kneeled on my bed, leaning over me.

"Ow," I groaned, stroking my forehead which pulsated achingly from the impact of the damn hard surface.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Kayla gaped, mimicking my movements with her eyes shut tightly. "You head-butted me, you jinx!"

"What's wrong with _me_?" I asked looking at her wide eyed. I glanced at my alarm clock which told me it was seven in the morning. On Saturday. "Kay, it's freaking dawn! What the fuck are you doing here?!" To be honest I was a bit scared not only because my dream but because of the fact Kayla sneaked into my room in the morning and watched me like some creep.

"You actually thought I'd let you go to a date without me saying yes to your dress?" she raised an eyebrow. I frowned. What? She didn't give me time to think as she jumped up and made her way to my wardrobe, turning on the small bulb-light. "Are you feeling like wearing a skirt?"

"How did you get in the first place?" I mumbled, looking at my blanket, disorganized, not really expecting an answer. Mom and Jack left around four AM since they had to attend a distant relative's funeral in Maine and I doubted Paul would have gotten up early to let her in. It's not like Kayla would need someone to let herself in, anyway. I turned my head and saw a very familiar looking bunch of keys. "Hey, isn't that Paul's keychain? The one he lost half a year ago?"

"…No."

That wasn't very convincing. I sighed tiredly and rubbed my eyes with my thumbs, chasing away the Dream Goblin making me sleepy. Little pieces of reality slowly reached my head and when I've put together the picture I remembered I was to have a date with Seth – it made Kayla's presence quite understandable.

"Look, Kay," I started, still somewhat dulled by sleepiness, "I'm touched by the fact you would get up in the morning, more so, wake _me_ up in the morning to help me get ready. As heartwarming as your _unbidden_ offer is, I have to tell you – very politely – that you must _get the hell outta here."_

"What?" she asked wide-eyed, half a dozen clothes in each her hands.

"I'm a big girl and I can get ready by myself. I know that you only want what's best for me, but please, let me be _me_ and not Kayla. After all, Seth asked _me_ out, not you, right?" There was no offensive meaning behind my words despite the bit of harshness in their meaning and Kayla knew that. She didn't start to go into a tantrum or anything; she just sighed and folded all my clothes she's taken out.

"Okay, your decision," she said as she picked up her purse with a resigned but somewhat happy smile on her face. "But you'll have to tell me everything, agreed? And don't dare to wear a _sweatshirt_!"

I sighed heavily. Sweatshirts made out half of my closet.

# # #

 _Knock, knock, knock,_ and Paul's head popped up from behind the now open door. "Hey, Jinx, Seth's here and…" He trailed off as soon as he saw me and his expression went from 'I'm genuinely awesome' to 'how do you spell biscuit?' in a single moment.

"What?" I asked, my voice jumping up an octave in anxiety as I examined him as he examined me. Precious moments went without him saying a word and I was starting to get nervous. Like, seriously nervous. "Paul, what the hell is your problem?! You're freaking me out!"

"It's just that… That…" He shook his head before continuing, "You look like a, ya know, a _girl_."

I felt like a huge, heavy weight was lifted up from my shoulders. "You're an idiot," I let out a relieved laugh," of course I look like a girl. I am one."

"And a platypus is a mammal but still looks like a duck."

Nice. I looked like a platypus. I wanted to ask if I look ridiculous – after all, being a girl wasn't necessarily a compliment – but I just looked all over myself. I decided to take Kayla's unsaid advice and wore a skirt. It was one of the three I had (the other two being an ugly blue-black-white checkered dress as Sunday Best and a sequined pink skirt from when Kayla, Grace and I dressed up as a girl singing trio for a Halloween Party), A-lined, made out of black colored lightweight material which reached to my knees.

To be honest, I hated and loved it at the same time: it made me feel free and comfy but also it felt like I was wearing nothing and I was afraid a breeze might flutter it up or something. With that I wore a pink and white checkered blouse with short, puffy sleeves. I wasn't fond of pink but I liked that one. I refused to wear high-heels but since it was raining outside (it always did) I had to chose a boot, a cocoa-colored one, the same color as my jacket and I was officially done and ready for my first date – and the meeting with Billy Black.

Paul maybe saw the concern on my face since he added, "You look fine. It just came like a bit of shock… you in a skirt…"

I stuck my tongue out at him and after grabbing the necklace from my nightstand, I passed by Paul (he was grinning like a fool again and I only got rid of his hair-ruffling thanks to my sudden reflex to buck down). I nearly ran down the staircase humming happily and as soon as I laid my eyes on Seth a dizzy smile appeared on my lips.

He was on one knee in our doorway, playfully scratching Colonel, our dog's belly. You see, Colonel, whose full name was Col. Fluffy-Muffinski McPoozatron (seriously. It said so in his papers! This happens when you let your brother name your dog), was an English Bloodhound. He wasn't an overprotective, barking-biting watchdog-type, in fact, he barely did else than lying in the doorway. He even ate while still lying sometimes. Once he farted so hard in his sleep he scared himself and ran straight into the wall. He fit perfectly into our family, I guess.

Seth was wearing one of those grey-hoodie-black-leather-bomber-jacket outer wears (which was sprinkled with dark dots due the rain) and a white printed t-shirt – casual and everyday but still it made my heart pump faster in my ribcage. Somehow I had a feeling he didn't care about the weather and he would be just fine without the jacket but he put one on because of me. Seriously, I had no idea where did that feeling come from but I had to admit Seth looked hella' fine. In fact he looked ridiculously hot next to me and his hotness' scale grew higher when he looked up at me and smiled brightly. He had one of those smiles which reached to one's eyes and it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

"Hey, Jass," he greeted me, giving two last pat on Colonel's side before he stood up and looked me all over. "You look amazing! You should wear skirts more often."

"Yeah, that's not going to happen," I grinned absent-mindedly and stepped closer to Seth. We were standing barely a footstep away from each other and I bit my lower lip unconsciously, trying to regain my composure. His fresh, earthy scent made my head woozy. "You look very gorgeous yourself." _And hot._ Both figuratively and literally – he was radiating that heat again.

"Oh, so sweet," came Paul's voice from the staircase, each word dripping with sarcasm. I rolled my eyes at him, making Seth chuckle. My brother stepped over Colonel – who literally didn't lift a hand (or a paw) – and spun the car keys around his forefinger. "You two ready?"

He didn't wait for an answer just went off to the car which was parking outside on the driveway. I shoot Seth a questioning glare and he shrugged his shoulders awkwardly. "It's raining quite heavily and I didn't want you to get all your clothes soaked so I figured I should ask Paul to give us a lift to Billy. Maybe it was a stupid idea."

It really was.

The road, though barely took more than ten minutes, was one of the most awkward ten minutes of my life – Paul made sure of it, asking the most embarrassing questions cloaked in innocent puns ever. I was grateful when finally we arrived at the Black's and watched as Paul drove off, pebbles creaked under the tires.

At the door we were greeted by Billy Black, one of the Elders, who was in a wheelchair since years due nerve damage. It had something to do with diabetes, I guess.

"Good morning, Seth," he said in pleasantly deep voice, a moony smile on his lips,"your young teenage hormones won't let you sleep, will they? Unfortunately, they won't let anyone else sleep, either, including me and this precious young lady, here. Jasmine, I believe."

"Yes, I'm Jass Lockwood, and I'm pleased to meet you," I said, shaking hands with him. His hands were calloused and his grip was firm – the way one would imagine a Chief's descendant's handshake.

"You have lot more manners than your brother, I see," he laughed, executing a three-point y-turn before rolling onwards. "Come in and close the door behind you."

We followed him inside, Seth closing the door and helping me out of my jacket before taking his own off, hanging them on the clothes-rack. I was sure Billy was expecting us since there was complete and utter tidiness in the tiny house – something I doubted would be normal for two males living together. Billy guided us to the kitchen, where there was a small rounded table with three chairs and an open space area where Billy could park in with his wheelchair. The man gestured toward the chairs, implying I should take a seat and I did so while Seth started to look through the cabinets with the easiness of someone being at home. I could see he _was_ feeling homey.

"Do you want anything to drink?" Seth asked as he maneuvered a bag of sliced bread, a stick of butter, ketchup and cold cuts in one hand while searching for a plate with the other.

"No, thanks" I said, furrowing my eyebrows. _This guy got nothing to eat at home?_ I was looking shamelessly at his back, watching as his muscles moves with his every movement – as he opened the bag of bread, as he buttered his sandwich, etc. – until Billy coughed meaningfully behind me. I tore my gaze off of Seth's incredibly mesmerizing frame to turn back; my eyes fell with the shame of being caught.

"I've heard you kids found an old cave inside a hill," Billy started, his dark, nearly black eyes watching me carefully. He looked genuinely interested. "Also, you've took a necklace, right?"

"Seth took it!" I retorted immediately, earning an insulted 'hey!' from the mentioned boy. "I just… didn't resist."

"I'm not angry at you," he clarified, blinking slowly and calmly. "You meant no harm and I've heard from you already. You're a curious one and your mother said you're a big fan of old tribal stories and myths. I don't blame you for following your heart."

My whole body palpitated with the remembrance of the voices and the gripping hand. _If he only knew how pertinent the term 'following your heart' was!_

"You've brought it with you, right? Would you show it to me?" I nodded and trotted out the necklace from my little black bag and put it on the table. He reached toward it but hesitated to actually take it – almost as if he'd been scared of what may happen. Finally, he closed his fist around the tooth. A visible shiver ran through his body and he closed his eyes, his eyebrows knitted together with the weight of realizing the truth.

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, eager to finally get to know what that necklace was. Seth munched on his sandwich.

Billy opened his eyes and suddenly he looked much older than he actually was. "I'm aware you know quite a lot about how our tribe's life went back in our ancestors' days. You also know most of our rites were held at James Island, right?"

I nodded but it wasn't so sure. "I… know they used to go there because it was easy to protect. They buried there, they seek protection there… Basically there was everything. That's why I was surprised we found that cave."

"Yes, it's uncommon to find something like that down there. Still, that special cave you're talking about… I think it was used way back when our ancestors barely laid foot on our land, around the time the first Quileutes were turned to human from wolves."

I raised an eyebrow at the mention of this old tale stating Quileutes descend from actual wolves. It says the first men were transformed from wolves by a God, K'wati – the image of a huge, black-furred wolf from my nightmare-ish dream flashed before my yes, making me wince. Seth gave me a concerned look. I gulped hard and spread my arms on the table, knocking the wood in a thinking manner.

"So what we've found… is it an actual shaman cave, then? And that necklace, that's some sort of amulet, right?"

"Some sort," he smiled dryly, rolling the teeth between his thumb and forefinger. The alderman looked down, measuring his words. "Did you know your family had quite a few shamans throughout our history?"

I blinked at him, surprised. "No, I didn't," I said honestly and furrowed my eyebrows.

I recalled that familiar, warm feeling when the stranger stepped out of the golden blaze upon the time I first touched the medallion. I nursed myself into the soothing thought I've imagined things while under the effect of toxic gas. I wondered why Seth was completely okay while I acted like I've used the best LSD in the whole world but I shooed away that thought – until now.

I opened my mouth to say something but no voice came out. I looked over at Seth – he was still munching on the remaining sandwich but he was deep in his thoughts, I could tell that by his furrowed eyebrows and the way he gazed into space. He must've realized I was watching him because he looked up and flashed me a reassuring smile.

"So, is it an amulet, then?" I asked finally, gaining courage from Seth. "I mean, it has some… magical power, isn't it? I can feel that, the power of ancient times. Does that mean it was used as a part of a ritual or something?"

"Whether it was used as a daily object or a specific one I don't know. I assume, though, that it belonged to a shaman, as a personal asset. It's most likely a power-charm, but it may also contain… things."

"…'things'?"

"Memories. Unused virtues. Messages, even."

My eyes widened visibly at his last word.

"Unfortunately most of our ancestors' wisdom has vanished nowadays or is on edge of never being seen again. Shamanism is sort of a natural science that has very little practitioner. This kind of amulets are rare, I've barely seen a few in my long years of living. I'm sure you've noticed this fang is extraordinary."

I nodded slowly. "Looks like a teeth of a predator but it's too big for a wolf. Dangit, it's too big for even a bear!"

Seth and Billy Black exchanged meaningful glances. My whole being tingled out of the feeling I don't even know a damn thing and I was so sure I've seen everything. Why didn't I know about the shamans in our family? Why did I found that cave? Of course, the heavy raining undermined the walls of the hillside but I meant that _calling_. And my nightmare, my vision… What was the meaning of them? Did they have _any_ kind of meaning? I wanted to ask so badly but I was afraid they'd think I'm crazy. I highly doubted Seth would like to go out with crazy girls and I really wanted to spend some time with him and his sweet smile.

Billy's question hit me like lightning on a sunny summer day.

"What do you believe in, Jasmine?"

I lost the faculty of speech for a second. "Sorry, what?"

"What's your opinion about what is real and what is just a myth?"

"What's my opinion about… Oh." I tilted my head to the side and bit my lip as I herded my thoughts together. "Well, I guess I try to stay open-minded, think outside the box, even. I don't judge unless I have clues, if that's what you mean, because one can not be sure about anything. We tend to think we know everything, given we live in a modern world of elemental knowledge thanks to computers and the internet but to be honest, there's a lot yet to be discovered. In my opinion, at least," I mumbled the last part, toying with a lock of my hair meanwhile.

I dared not to look up until I felt Seth's large, warm hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him – he was smiling. Smiling, as in smiling like an idiot, who just learned others are even more messed up than they are. The gentle yet cheeky warmness in his mesmerizing eyes made me feel safe and worried at the same time. What could I've possibly said to earn this smile?

While I was wondering, Billy slowly rolled to the doorway of the kitchen. He left the medallion on the table. "I'll be back in a minute. I have a book I want to show you. Seth, I think it's time." And with that he left us alone.

"O-kay," I said into the silence, confused. "What's going on? What did Billy mean by 'it's time'? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, no, no! It wasn't something you said," Seth responded immediately, the goofy smile still tucking up the corner of his lips. "It was me. Or more like it _is_ me…"

"We haven't went to the date yet and you're already playing the 'it's not you, it's me' card?" My weak attempt of a tension-diffusing joke earned a light chuckle from him. Satisfied, I smiled, blushing a bit when he reached toward my face and tucked a stray of hair behind my ear. Tiny jolts of electricity awoke when his fingers brushed my cheek. I was starting to get used to that knot what formed in my stomach in every single moment like this.

Suddenly, Seth stood up. "We might want to go outside for this," he explained after he saw the confused look on my face. I took his hand which has been offered to me and stood up as well but I was still kind of unsure about what's that supposed to mean. Seth winked at me. "It's easier for me to run away if you don't like what I'm about to say if we're outside."

I rolled my eyes, grinning, but followed him out through the backdoor nevertheless. The raining eased off a bit but I still preferred to stay under the roof of the terrace. Seth eyed the woods, searching for something behind the green bushes before he took a deep breath and turned toward me, hand in his pocket."

"Do you know why I hang out with your brother lately?"

"I've been trying to understand why _anyone_ would want to hang out with him but no success so far. And – no offense – but _you_ of all people? No idea."

"I would agree with you but I'm kinda-sorta afraid of him," Seth added, looking to the side, and then he fell silent, probably thinking about what to say next. Every passing moment pulled at my nerves harder. "Jass, I… I lied to you."

I was dumbfounded for a moment, gaping like a goldfish. "About what? Secretly you're a genius of physics?"

"No, sadly enough I'm not Einstein," he chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. "I said you were hallucinating back at the cave. That wasn't true. I saw something, too."

"I knew it!" I exclaimed suddenly, stepping closer to him and grabbing his arm. My lips were curling into a triumphant grin. I never doubted Seth's word for a second; I don't really know why or how but I felt he was telling the truth.

As I've told Billy, I tried to be open-minded; maybe it was the cause of all the strange things I've been experiencing lately. Maybe it wasn't. All I knew was, however, that nowadays people tend to reject anything they can't find a scientifical explanation to, stating they can't be real. I tried my best to stay recipient, following the tenet of accepting whatever I've experienced and act openly to everything else.

That day I saw something. I felt so and now I knew for sure.

"So you're not… angry at me?" Seth looked at me with such wide, warm chocolate-colored, pleading eyes I doubted anyone could be angry at him. It wasn't fair how he got such benefit when he was born but hey, some people are born lucky. Though most of them are just idiots who are too stupid to think about consequences and thus cared not about bad things that may come upon them.

"Of course not," I shook my head and patted his shoulder. "I bet seeing something like that… You must've thought you're crazy. Denying in order to help yourself deal with new things is no fault."

"…yeah, but that's not it." I raised my eyebrow. _What?_ Seriously, I've never felt so vulnerable and unscholarly in my life like I had had in that hour or so.

"Then what is it about?" Seth pouted his lip in an anxious, thinking manner. I playfully pushed his shoulder (or more like his upper-arm) with mine. "C'mon, you can tell me!"

Seth flashed me an unsure smile. "It's more of a show-needed thing."

"Show me, then!" I spread out my arms. Geez, I felt like curiosity might eat me alive from the inside!

"Jass, it's not that easy!" Seth said, running both his hands through his raven hair before he interweaved his fingers on the back of his skull. I had to exert myself not to gaze at his biceps'. "I really want you to know everything but I'm afraid you'll, I dunno, faint or run away. Think I'm a freak and never speak to me again…"

"That's bullshit, Seth," I smiled and chuckled in pure solace. That was the entire problem? He thought I'd react badly to whatever he wanted to say? The boy looked slightly puzzled at my chose of words. "I only mean you really don't have to worry about that. I'm tougher than I look, believe me. Just show me whatever you want already!"

Seth's features softened a bit but I could tell he was still nervous. I knew not what made him so uneasy but my heart ached for an answer. I hoped he wasn't hiding a dead body in the backyard, though; sometimes I get nausea when I'm marinating a chicken, I wouldn't want the scent of a dead hit me.

"Okay," Seth mumbled more to himself than to me and stepped into the rain. The heavy drops made his fluffy and soft hair stick to his forehead and temple. I moved to follow him but Seth raised his hand. "Stay there!"

I shot him a questioning look but remained where I stood. I was starting to feel uncomfortable with the situation and this feeling got multiplied when, without a warning, Seth started to unbutton his shirt.

"Whoa, whoa – hey! I know it's raining man, but…" Despite my total perplexity I couldn't get myself to look away. It1s a shame but I often imagined his muscled, hard chest being face-to-face with me but imagining and seeing was two different things, entirely. Hell, he wasn't supposed to be this perfect! I felt so little and petty I became ashamed.

Seth said nothing, only tossed his shirt to the side. I had an urge to run after it and stole it to use it as a pillow ship like a crazy-to-the-bones groupie. My eyes never left Seth – not only because he was yummy but also I was curious to the point of physical pain.

"Look, Jass, I… I just want you to know: no matter what you'll see, it's going to be me," Seth emphasized, his voice strangely croaked. He didn't move until I nodded, signalizing I understood. To be honest, I didn't understand a thing and my confusion only grew when all of a sudden Seth's body started to shake violently.

Ripping of clothes, a puff of fur and fangs – and a huge, sandy-colored wolf was standing in front of me where Seth stood.

And Seth was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

_… What the holy mother of pies…!_

 

I stared at the wolf, frozen, for what seemed ages. My brain betrayed me, blocking my thoughts right before it tangled them into a Gordian knot. My head was a mess, my fingers twitched for some reason and my eyes went wide with awe. My mouth gaped open as I tried to from words, any word, but only cracked, shapeless sounds came out.

 

The wolf watched me with its big, brown eye and too a step closer. I stepped back on instinct, my hazel irises taking in the whole sight. The first thing coming to my mind was a simple question: what?

 

And then the instinct hit in: _animal. Predator. Danger. Death. RUN._

There was a fight between my mind and my heart – my mind wanted to make a move, run away, run and don’t stop until I1m safe but there was that whisper-like sound again, telling me I’m already safe. Not only was I safe but I was also finally where I was _supposed_ to be.

 

A part of me wanted to stay, to explore, to bury my hands into the soft-looking fur of the severe and primal wolf.

 

This ambivalence caused my legs to tangle and I fell to the ground. My bottoms and my hand throbbed dully due the impact, pumping flat pain into my veins. I could care less as it was overwhelmed by a sudden rush of adrenaline.

 

I just half laid, half sat there in the grass as the wolf stepped so close it was barely four feet away from my legs. And that was the moment I realized: the wolf’s eyes glistened with emotions. Actual, human emotions like worry, curiosity and regret.

 

I doubted wolves could feel regret about anything. But Seth can, a soft voice told me.

 

That thought seemed to be the key to the lock of my thoughts. A flow of images, questions and deductions washed over my head, nearly drowning me – a big, wet poke was my life belt. The wolf was standing by my side now, his impressive height towering over me. It shunned down its head, making the pose appear less threatening but it was its eyes which stopped me from screaming or backing further: they were warm brown, reminding me of swirling hot chocolate.

 

A deep, silky voice said, from the back of my mind: _no matter what you’ll see, remember, it’s going to be me_.

 

The deduction, no matter how stupid it seemed, was simple from there.

 

_It’s Seth._

 

My mouth opened and closed before I finally managed to say, “Seth…? Seth, is this… is this you?” The wolf perked its head, its ears jolting up with hope. “Seth, that’s actually you?”

 

The wolf straightened up, visibly relieved and happier as it frisked its tail slowly.

 

I felt my lips curling into a wide smile. “Oh my god. Oh. My. God! Seriously, oh my… I can’t… It can’t be real!” I blurted out, my voice full of glee. “But… of course it’s real, you’re here! You’re here right in front of me and this is… Wolf. You’re a wolf, Seth, _you’re a werewolf_!”

 

I can’t quite name the feeling what overtook me; it was a delightful mixture of happiness, awe and stunning realization. The words kept coming to my mouth and I didn’t fight them back.

 

“It was all real, those tales I’ve heard, the spirit warriors… It’s real and it was here all the time and I didn’t even see it! It’s so unbelievable… Like, you know, werewolves are only real in books and here you are, I see you, I hear you, and to be honest I can even smell you… You stink. I don’t know what you’ve been doing but you should take a bath in the ocean or something.”

 

It – _he_ , I corrected myself – made a gesture like he wanted to roll his eyes and gave a huffy whine. I guess I just hurt his feelings and pride.

 

I held out my hand, hesitantly. “May I…?” He kind of nodded, bent his head and stepped closer. My fingertips trembled with excitement as I slowly closed the distance and touched the sandy fur on his forehead, moving to his neck and ears. It was smooth and soft, exactly like his hair in his human-form.

 

“Geez, Seth, you’re so cute and fluffy!”

 

The wolf gave a snorting, sullen sound as if he was protesting against my labeling.

 

“Hey, don’t need to be touchy! Would you be happier if I told you you’re frightening and fearful?!” He just looked at me as if he couldn’t quite decide. I took it he was just as much a teenage boy as he was in his normal body. I just shook my head and petted his head.

 

“You’re taking it surprisingly well,” came Billy’s voice from the backdoor. He was smiling with the mixture of relief and placidity.

 

“I might pass out any second,” I answered cheekily, glutting my eyes on Seth. “I guess I haven’t come home to it yet but… I’ve been hoping something like this would be real. My obsession helped a lot. I feel like I’m dreaming, though, so I might need a day or two to completely acknowledge… All _this_.”

 

“Seth told us you were interested in the field. I knew immediately you’re going to be more than happy to know about it. Some didn’t react so well – Kim, Jared’s girlfriend teasered him, when he first turned in front of her, “Billy laughed. I vaguely knew Kim – she seemed like a nice girl, smart and self-aware, not the type I’d have imagined to be by Jared’s side.

 

I turned to Billy. “You knew all along. “It wasn’t a question, it was a plain statement.

 

He nodded, closing his eyes for a second. “Yes. I saw my grandfather turning into a giant wolf when I was very small. I’ve known about it since then. I never got the chance to taste being a shapeshifter, though. The… circumstances weren’t right.”

 

“How come?”

 

The man opened his mouth but closed it when wolf-Seth stepped closer, communicating with his eyes. The soundless discussion between them ran its course within a minute. “I think your questions are Seth’s to answer.”

 

The wolf moved its tale and shunned his head in a ‘sorry for that, but I’m excited’ way. It seemed I had to wait. _Duh_ , I sighed. At least I had time to think.

 

“Okay, then. Turn back or whatever you call it,” I waved carelessly, standing expectantly, my hands on my hips. Seth looked at Billy who cleared his throat meaningfully.

 

“You should come in with me.”

 

“Why? I wanna see it. That shifting thing is _awesome_!”

 

Seth’s gaze became pleading and somewhat embarrassed. Billy didn’t say anything only pointed at a few shattered pieces of blue fabric. I didn’t even see them before. Taking a better look at them I realized it was jean-fabric, the exact same type Seth wore before.

 

I vaguely remembered the sounds of cloths being torn apart when he transformed.

 

And then it hit in.

 

I felt my cheeks burning with shame. “Oh.” With that I turned around and followed Billy inside, stealing a last glance at the sandy colored wolf.

 

I could wait.

 

# # #

 

“So you can hear each other’s thoughts?” I repeated what Seth just said. The joyously I-can’t-believe-it smile became persistent on my face. We’ve made it to a café down in Forks – Jake Black arrived home while I was repeating ‘oh my gosh’ over and over again in their living room and he offered a ride for us. When Seth showed up – fully clothes – he looked at me with an unsure smile on his lips and gave me a questioning, sorry-for-not-telling-you-earlier smile. I ran up to him and hugged him, hard. He wrapped his hands around my immediately; his heat was familiar and comforting, especially now that I understood the reason behind it.

 

The café was warm and the narcotic, creamy arome of fresh coffee wrapped around me pleasingly. Seth answered all my questions with a hot chocolate steaming in front of both us uf – he was more than happy to so do even though I had a _lot_ of questions.

 

He seemed to be damn right excited about having me included in the tribe’s secret. Seth was smiling from ear to ear, all his teeth showing brightly and his eyes were practically sparkling – it was exceptionally sweet.

 

“Yeah,” he nodded, taking a sip from his mug. It was burning hot but he seemed to be immune to it. “Not only thoughts, though. Memories, feelings, impressions… It’s like you have half a dozen more brains you can think with.”

 

“That’s awesome,” I muttered with my eyes widened in amazement.

 

“It has its ups and downs,” Seth shrugged, drumming on the pot with his fingers. “It’s kind of awesome you don’t actually need words to express yourself but at the same time you can’t _hide_ anything, either. And there are things you’d be better not knowing about…”

 

“Oh, yeah, your sister, Leah is there, right?” I’ve never spoken to Leah Clearwater before but people talk: she was happy with Sam Uley and then Sam left her for her own cousin, Emily. Sure, Sam was nice for not leaving Emily even after her face got disfigured but it’s still cruel to just leave Leah like that. Seth told me they were both pack-member along with Jared, Quill Ateara, Embry Call and Paul. The little rant, I thought bitterly, thinking of my so-called brother. I had a strong intention of taking revenge for not telling me the truth.

 

Seth grimaced. “Yeah, she is. They are in this drama-triangle, her, Sam and Emily and she constantly has dark, depressive thoughts. She’s makin our life miserable on purpose. I mean, I love her, but…”

 

“I get that.” I shot him a reassuring smile. I decided to change the subject since he seemed to get sad. I didn’t want to see Seth-Puppy sad. “How can one get accustomed to hearing others’ thoughts? I mean, if I’d have to listen to every single thing going through Paul’s mind, I’d go nuts.”

 

“You wouldn’t want to read Paul’s mind. Trust me on this,” he laughed half-awkwardly and half-relieved by the topic-changing. I grimaced, disgusted; sometimes what Paul said caused a smaller stoppage in my head. And those were the things he decided to share!

 

“So if the shapeshifters are real, then the Cold Ones... Are they…?”             

 

“They exist as well,” Seth nodded, glancing to the side where a group of teenage girls (probably from the Forks High School since I didn’t know them plus they were all white) who were looking toward us and giggled among themselves. Due the chatty atmosphere we didn’t need to worry about others hearing our conversation but Seth was still somewhat jumpy.

 

I rolled my eyes – judging by their supposedly flirty looks and my basic knowledge about girls my age, they were talking about Seth and how hot and cute and handsome he was. A triumphant fire flickered in my soul – _he’s on a date with me, bitchachos!_

 

“And your job is to, you know, fight them?”

 

Seth pulled his mouth to the side. “Not exactly… Our ‘job’ is to protect the tribe and all of Forks. We have a deal with the campires – as long as they don’t hurt humans we’re good.”

 

I furrowed my eyebrows. “But vampires live on human blood, aren’t they?”

 

“They drink blood, yes, but that doesn’t have to be human. The Cullens…”

 

“The _Cullens_?!” I cut in, exclaiming loudly. Some heads turned toward us and Seth placed his hand on mine, trying to calm me down. He looked around, worried; he looked like a little boy caught red-handed while stealing cookies. I tried to calm my heavily beating heart.

 

I knew the Cullen family – my father often got donations from them on the benefit of wildlife. I met the parents a few times and though they were ridiculously beautiful for their age, they also acted very nice. I couldn’t believe they were _vampires_.

 

“Jass, please!” Seth pleaded, asking me to lower my voice. I reluctantly obeyed, my eyes roaming furiously up and down on his face.

 

“Seth, the Cullens are vampires?” I whispered, leaning over the table.

 

“Yeah but they are not that bad. I mean, they seem okay.”

 

“They are _vampires_! _Damned, blood-sucking, to-be-killed-by-Buffy vampires!_ ”

 

“They live on animal blood and keep to themselves. Do you have anything specific against them?” His eyes were big and shiny, his lips pouted – he was doing the puppy face. Again.

 

“… They are vampires.”

 

“Yeah, you’ve said that already. Anything else?”

 

I opened my mouth to protest but eventually said nothing. I couldn’t find a damn thing against them in addition to the fact they were vampires. They even donated a lot of money for charity.

 

I growled in defeat. “Aren’t you supposed to, like, hate them?”

 

Seth seemed taken aback by my suggestion like the sheer thought of him hating anyone would be unthinkable. He took a sip form his mug before answering.

 

“I dunno. I mean, I don’t know them personally but Carlisle is said to be very kind. Also, they were the reason I’ve become what I am. I’m sorta thankful for that because it’s amazing.”

 

“To be a werewolf?” No matter how many times I’ve said it, the word still tasted foreign on my tongue.

 

“Shapeshifter, actually,” he corrected absent-mindedly. “I guess werewolves exist as well but they’re bloodthirsty and get nuts upon the full moon. Also, we can shift whenever we want! I like being a wolf! The freedom, the speed, the strength… It’s pretty cool.”

 

“And do you have the same awareness in wolf-form as you do know?”

 

“Yeah, we’re not animals. Some reflexes are kinda animalistic and raw like the frisking, the howls, the expressions of feelings but they stick easily. The worst part was at the beginning, when we couldn’t control when we shifted. That’s why I didn’t come to school for a while – it happened out of a sudden rushes of emotions. Fear, happiness, sadness… Mourn.”

 

Seth looked away from me and at the table, head hanging low in pure sadness. I didn’t know if I should ask or not.

 

“The first time Leah phased… It was unforeseen. She’s the first female shifter ever. We still don’t know what caused her transformation and she keeps referring to herself as a defected waster, a genetic dead-end but I think she’s just worried and angry. She blames herself for…”

Seth bit on his tongue before he could let the answer slip out. His eyes were dulled by grief; I guessed easily what he was referring to, though.

 

“She blames herself for your father’s death?” I asked quietly. He nodded. “But… he died of natural causes, didn’t he? A heart-attack, if I remember well. She’s hardly…”

 

“Dad got a heart-attack when Leah shifted in front of him.”

 

My mouth fell open literally. That made the grumpy attitude of the Clearwater-girl entirely understandable. First she lost her boyfriend, then her best friend and then her father – after that, she was forced to see and feel the love of Sam toward Emily trough the wolf-telepathy. I couldn’t help but feel horribly sorry for Leah.

 

I wanted to say something but couldn’t quite find the right words. I’ve always been awful at comforting people – that was Kayla’s job.

 

I was speechless and baffled; it felt like slap in the face. Seth saw that.

 

“Look, it’s fine. I mean… It’s going to be fine. _Has to._ Let’s just not talk about it, okay? That’d be the best for both of us,” he added and I nodded gratefully.

 

“So… How many people know about the secret?” I asked eagerly, trying to chase away the sheaves of sorrow thrashing on my soul.

 

“Not that much,” Seth shrugged. “The tribe’s council; my mother, Billy and Old Quill. Emily and Kim. Some of the members’ family: Jared’s parents, Sam’s mother and Paul’s father, too.”

 

The image of Jack’s face popped up in front of my mind’s eyes, how calm he was when Paul disappeared. He knew it – it made sense.

 

“And why did you decide to let me know about it when it’s such a private thing?”

 

I tried to keep my voice and expression cool but to be honest, this question has been dancing on my nerves since we left Billy’s house. My voice trembled from repressed excitement.

 

Seth’s gaze hardened as if we’ve arrived at dangerous and embarrassing waters. He looked down at his nearly empty mug, his cheeks growing darker. He rubbed the skin above his lips while he was thinking through his answer.

 

“Jass, it’s, uhm… Difficult to answer.”

 

“Was it because of my… powers or whatever? Because of what we saw together?”

 

“Not exactly…” I furrowed my eyebrows at his unconfident voice; he seemed to be really uncomfortably with the answer and tried to avoid it. I tilted my head to the side and looked at him with eyes wide in irritation, sending a soundless ‘c’mon!’ message. He let out an irritated growl. “It’s not that easy!”

 

“You said the same about your _furry_ secret and I’ve taken it quite well so far.”

 

“Believe me: it’s a lot more complicated,” he stated, voice low and hard at the same time. I was growing impatient to the point all my emotions carefully bottled-up before broke free.

 

“ _Damn it_ , Seth, the local doctor is a vampire, I see dead people and your father died because your sister phased into a wolf in front of him, what could _possibly_ be more complicated?!” I snapped at him angrily. The same moment I said the last word aloud I knew that I’ve became the worst people ever walking on this earth.

 

Seth’s eyes were brown mess of pureshock, oppressed anger, and so much agonizing pain I wanted to strangle myself in my hot chocolate.

 

_How could I…?_

 

I fell speechless, dumbfounded by my own words. I sometimes lost it but to attack him like that, it was disgusting from me.

 

“I’m… I’m so sorry Seth,” I stuttered eventually, startled at my behavior. Blood flushed my face – his dad died barely two months ago. I couldn’t possibly all the pain, sorrow and agonizing lack of him which must’ve had bottled up inside Seth. It was cruel, one hell of idiocy from me to bring him up in my rant. My gaze fell to my mug, ashamed. “I didn’t want to… I’m… Just so…”

 

I wanted to sink in shame. I wished the ground would open beneath me so I could fall into Hell right where I belonged with my intemperate selfishness.

 

Seth gulped hard, forcing the knot in his throat to go away.

 

“I know,” he muttered, taking long, deep breaths. I forced myself to look up at him; his eyes were glistening. I wanted his eyes to sparkle with laughter but instead I made them filmy with restrained tears.

 

Foolishly, I always thought guys aren’t meant to cry because that’s just not guy-like. I haven’t think about that for a few years but not that I saw Seth on the edge of breaking down, letting all his tamed trauma to the surface, I regretted even the past thoughts. He had every right to tear all he wanted… Yet, he smiled.

 

He smiled, for God’s sake!

 

It was small, weak and clearly forced but he still had the intention to smile.

 

“I won’t press the topic, I swear,” I nodded carefully. “What I said… I didn’t mean it. Sorry.”

 

“I know that too. And it’s okay,” he coughed, clearing his throat. “I mean, my dad’s death is _not okay_ but _I have to be okay_.”

 

Seth’s voice sounded so firm and wounded at the same time I only dared to look straight into his eyes for a moment, taking in his soothing smile and the sudden lack of happiness in his eyes before pretending to look around the café. I couldn’t care less about the others.

 

I wanted to let Seth know how much I’m sorry but couldn’t find the words – I wanted to let him know that he was the most wonderful person, being strong because he had to be for all those around him. I wanted to let him know I’d be there for him, be it ever so little. It would’ve been a long speech to let him know all those things and not hundred percent fitting. It was so much easier and meaningful to reach across the table and stroke his hand with mine – I felt Seth’s gaze on me as I softly and lightly tanlged our fingers together.

 

I managed to look up and lock gazes with Seth. A hang-dog smile made its way to my face. “I’m utterly sorry for bringing it up. I understand it’s way too personal to discuss and I was being insensitive.”

 

“Yeah, you were a bit too much caught in the heat of the moment but…’Personal’? Jass, we’re on a date!” Seth let out a relieved laugh. “It’s _supposed_ to be personal.”

 

He was right. He invited me on a date to talk about ourselves and though the topics we’ve discussed were relevant since he was a werewolf (shapeshifter), it wasn’t the atmosphere a date should’ve taken place in.

 

“Yeah but not personal in the way our conversation was so far… To be honest, we shouldn’t be talking about the pack so much.”

 

“I really don’t mind talking about it. It’s a part of me. Literally.”

 

“But it’s not _you_. I wanna talk about you, among other things!”

 

Seth blew few locks of hair away from his eyes and forehead. He started stomping with his feet. I was still holding his hand and he was still smiling.

 

“Okay,” he said, tightening his hold on my fingers. He caressed the skin of my palm, tickling me slightly. “If it’s about me, then I want to tell you that you can’t imagine how free it feels to finally have you included in all this!”

 

I giggled the way his eyes lit up with childlike joy and excitement. His smile widened as well.

 

“And you can’t imagine how much I want to kick Paul’s arse for not telling me sooner,” I snorted, sloshing the remaining chocolate in the mug with my free hand.

 

“Don’t do that,” Seth said with a frown, the corner of his eyes curling up from suppressed laughter. “I’ve told you: our body is stronger than any humans’. You’d only break your leg.”

 

“Then I shall take revenge on an indirect way. I will eat all his pudding.”

 

“That might just work,” he nodded in agreement. “You shouldn’t punish him, though. After all, he wasn’t allowed to tell you.”

 

“Yeah, it should be kept a secret, big bad wolves running around the woods killing bloodsuckers. I get that. But I was told homework is supposed to be done alone and I still write his math homework for him. That’s what siblings do, not giving a monkey’s bare ass about what others say if it’s about your sibling.”

 

Seth scraped his neck, pulling his mouth.

 

“It’s sorta more difficult.” Not again! I hated the d-lettered word! I raised my eyebrow, not by a long way pleased by all his mysterious-not-even-an-answer answers. He must’ve sensed it because he added, “It’s not simply a secret. It’s a _dead secret_. Sam debarred us from telling anyone. He used his Alpha-voice; we simply can’t go against that. It’s physically impossible. Even if Paul wanted to tell you – and believe me, he did, I saw his thoughts – he just couldn’t.”

 

I wanted to ask why but I realized it would’ve only taken us back to the point of me snapping at him for not answering and I wouldn’t want to risk that, not again. The question burned my insides, making me itch as if I had fire ants all over my insides. Why was Seth allowed to tell me? Was it because we saw that thing together in the cave? I wasn’t sure. It seemed unrealistic to have me included because I was Paul’s stepsister who sticks her nose to places where it didn’t belong, or because I was Seth’s… Well, I wasn’t entirely sure exactly what Seth was to me. More than a friend but less than my boyfriend, I guess. Still, even he and Paul together didn’t seem like a convincing argument. What was it, then?

 

“Jass…” Seth started, gaining a foothold on the field of ‘no’. I nearly bit on my tongue, fighting against my next question. Seth caressed my knuckles and it helped a lot; his warmness never failed to surprise me. The gesture was like a huge pack of sand on the smoldering remains of the campfire of my eagerness and curiosity.

 

“Please?” I made a last, weak attempt to get an answer.

 

Seth shook his head, firmly but calmly. “I can’t.”

 

“You’re no fun,” I sighed huffily, and sank lower in my seat.

 

There was a few moments of silence, him stroking my hand and I staring at the ceiling before he spoke again.

 

“I will tell you,” he confirmed, smiling at my childish behavior. Childish… I was older than him. Only a few months but still. “The time’s not right at the moment but I will. I wouldn’t let you out of this, trust me _. Please.”_

 

I started to feel like Seth knew exactly what his tantalizing eyes and bright smile did to me and used it as a merciless weapon.

 

“I’m not gonna lie: a very small part of me is going to hate you for this,” I confessed, toying with the white plastic spoon in my mug with my free hand. “The remaining part is going to drive you mad with questions.”

 

Seth’s eyes lit up triumphantly as he let out a shrill and cheerful laugh.

 

He winked at me. “I have vampires to keep in chess. I guess I can handle a few questions.”

 

# # #

 

We’ve spent a few hours in the café, talking about our past, sharing stories, memories, opinions. By the time it got dark and we set out to go home I was sure I knew every single detail, corner and could write a whole user guide of the entity called ‘Seth Clearwater’. We paid for the hot chocolates and the cookies we ordered afterwards (Seth insisted he should pay since he’s the boy and he invited me; I made a deal with him that he can pay for his part and the chocolate and I will pay for my cookies) and stepped out to the street.

 

The air was biting my skin after the warmness of the café. Despite my jacket I felt a shiver of cold running up my spine and I rubbed my hands together. Suddenly I felt a weight being put on my shoulders – I looked up at Seth to find him doing his best to wrap his hoodie-leather-jacket around me. The fabric was just as warm as he was.

 

“Are you cold?” he asked though he’s put his jacket around me already and we started to walk. Jake didn’t answer his phone but it wasn’t raining anymore so Seth suggested he’ll walk me home and then he’s going to run the woods in his wolf-form.

 

“Not now,” I shook my head. “Aren’t you going to need it?”

 

He shrugged. “I don’t need it.”

 

I felt a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. “Have you really just brought this jacket so you can put it on me?”

 

He chuckled lightly and shrugged. “I’m gentlemanly like this.”

 

I couldn’t disagree with him.

 

The journey home was filled with laughter, sardonic giggles and me soundlessly taking in the fact Seth – tall, hot, sweet, noble Seth – was walking beside me, asking about what I think what the future holds for me, what my favorite color is or how did I get that fading scar on my shoulder. He truly cared about my answers and I was sure he’d remember it long time afterwards. My head felt dizzy, full of ‘why do I deserve that’ and ‘oh my gosh’.

 

When we eventually reached the door of our house, I was downright sad. It meant this special – heck special, unmatched day was over.

 

I took every step of the stairs leading to the veranda very slowly.

 

Seth suddenly asked, “I haven’t even asked you yet: how do you feel about all this you got to know today?”

 

I let out a tired sigh. “All in all? It turned out my brother and his friends are giant werewolves fighting off vampires. I have some strange medium-mentalist power sleeping within my body and they raised the price of hot chocolate at my favorite café. Just another rainy Saturday.”

 

He chuckled at my deadpanning, and I felt a sudden rush of warm spreading over my chest by the fact I made him chuckle. Of course, I’ve did so a lot earlier but now, standing in front of the door, in the silence of the night only broken by croaking frogs, it had some kind of magic from deep within the scene itself.

 

Only then have I realized I’ve been waiting – all those cheesy teen-romance movies I’ve watched with Kayla made me expect a kiss. I’ve never been kissed before (didn’t have anyone to kiss, outside my dog, really) and though I wasn’t desperate because of it but I really wished I had more experience on the field. If I knew something then I was confident about it – I longed to get that experience, that so-called burning fire of a loving kiss but I dared not to move.

 

I must’ve fallen silent for more than I thought since Seth shifted, running a hand through his dark locks. He furrowed his eyebrows and his cheeks darkened – he looked like he was in trouble deciding over something.

 

“Can I be honest with you?”

 

His eyes shot down at me upon hearing my voice. He smiled immediately. “Always.”

 

“I have no freaking idea how to say goodbye to you know.” When I said it it felt like it wasn’t even me talking; I heard my voice but didn’t recognize it as my own. I felt my head growing hot with the embarrassment of such freestyle utterance. I felt really stupid saying things like that; it made me look like the childish girl I really was and I hated it.

 

Seth, however, only seemed to be made happier by my words. His smile widened, now from ear to ear, his creamy brown eyes flaming up with something more than joy.

 

He stepped closer, a strange mixture of firmness and caution, placing his large, warm hand on either of my sides. My heart was roaming in my chest, blood pulsating in my veins with such a force I felt like a thousand bees were buzzing right into my ear, making me more or less deaf.

 

“How about this for a ‘hello’?” His words rang clearly in the pulsating cavalcade of noises, and then…

 

And then he kissed me.

 

His lips sealed against mine gently, softly, making my knees weak and my chest exploding with warm fondness. I didn’t exactly had time to move at all, outside of closing my eyes in the pleasure of finally getting something I’ve wanted badly for a while now. It was magic, his lips on mine, sending zigzagging jolts of lightning through my veins. Something inside me changed – I couldn’t put my hands on what was it called because it could be dwelled upon later. For now, I was content feeling his hot, _burning hot_ breath on my cheeks, his hold on my sides.

 

It mustn’t have been more than a few seconds, five on top, but those five seconds felt like nothing before. I’m sure it was his first kiss as well, and his unsure but overly satisfied and upbeat expression after he straightened up only strengthened my belief.

 

“Yeah… That does the work nicely,” I breathed, common sense and basic life support nearly collapsing under the lingering, dulling effect of the moment.

 

Seth tucked a stray of hair behind my ear. The way his fingertips brushed against my skin lit tiny, tickling fires around the spots. “Well, then… Good night, Jasmine.” His voice was soft and full of affection, just like his lips.

 

“Goodnight,” I exhaled, following his way from the veranda to the forest near the house with a blank expression. I shifted in my jacket and realized I still had his. “Wait, your jacket…!”

 

“Keep it!” he waved, his smile burning bright white in the night like a beacon. “I would ruin it, anyway.”

 

And with a last wave of his hands, he cast himself into the woods. I heard the cracking of twigs, shuffling of leaves, and then clothes being torn apart. Then silence.

 

I opened the door with automatic movements and shaky hands, jumping when I found out someone was sitting in the mid-dark of the living room.

 

“I saw that, ya know,” Paul said. I couldn’t see his face, but his voice seemed somewhat impish.

 

“Good, because right now I can’t recall any decent image,” I said bluntly, earning a chuckle from my brother. I leant against the door, my chest rising and falling rapidly – only then had I got to my sense enough so I could actually work up what just happened.

 

I had my first kiss. I had my very first kiss with Seth! My kiss, kiss, my first kiss…

 

I don’t know when that dreamy, girly smile crawled upon my lips but all at once I found my face hurting from the wideness of it. I didn’t mind just like I didn’t mine my knees trembling and my lips prickling. I felt the ground slipping out from underneath me and I sat on the floor.

 

“Now, now, you’re just a lovesick mess, now, aren’t you?” Paul laughed sardonically as he rose from wherever he was sitting and walked straight by me, the stairs crackling under his feet. He didn’t even say good night and he didn’t need to – he was actually waiting for me to come home. That was more than enough at the moment.

 

To be honest I can’t recall the rest, how I had a quick shower, brushed my teeth, changed into my pajamas and managed to tumble onto my bed. I was lying on my bed, beneath the covers next to the open window, staring at the ceiling and when I heard a familiar howl with a hint of triumphantlove… That’s when I started laughing and giggling like the teenage girls in the movies.

 


End file.
